Growing up in a stern household, it was thought by my father and grandfather that you will try harder if you do not measure up to their desires for your life. One of the favorite sayings was, "You'll never amount to a hill of beans." Working on the farm, I knew what a hill of beans meant. Six beans can only give limited results when compared to a whole field. Next was the comment, "You don't have enough sense to pound sand down a rat hole". Enough said about that saying.
Over the years these comments hardened me to "Prove them wrong." Now as I get into my twilight years, I look back and realize that some of the things I did was for that reason only. My serving to others in being a youth minister, moving up the corporate ladder, being a city mayor, a court judge, directing a Christian Camp and Resort, and the list goes on and on was not as much serving as proving my family wrong.
One pain that stuck with me for years was to hear a conversation by my Dad and a close family member. I was taking a shower and overheard them say, "Gary can not be a Mayor because he is over his head and dreams more than he can do." I stood in the shower and cried as memories of words said years earlier flooded my head and that my own fa. Instead of giving up, it just made me more determined to work harder. We won all precincts in the elections.
I did serve to help others but my motives were not all pure. My knowledge of this motive has made me leery of most politicians and those working in serving areas.
Therefore I am more sensitive to the words I chose and the words I hear others blurt out. Often words can cut deeper than any knife as many people do not realize the damage they are causing. Tearing people down does not make you a better person but instead has the opposite effect.
Pointing fingers at others is not a great accomplishment. Right now, point your finger at the screen. One finger is pointing at the screen but three fingers are pointing back at you. Realize that every time you point out others failures there are three times as many pointing back at you. The same is in tearing someone down with your words.
The choice is yours, build up others with words of kindness, favor, and love or tear them down to make you think you look better. The reality is those words may come back to haunt you.