Everyone is talking about the situation at Penn State and the events that took place years ago. As they discuss the mindset of the coach during that time it has quickly brought back some rough memories of my daughter's experiences.
Her uncle was an elder in the church, high up in the Masonic Lodge, police officer and respected in the community. But it was a program on TV that gave my daughter the courage to say something and come forward. During the seven plus years of sexual abuse beginning at age 4 he would tell her that it was their secret and that if she told no one would believe her. When confronted by the Sheriff's office he immediately denied everything and said it was her imagination.
For me too many "small" things that I felt were not right years before came to the surface and so we pursued legal action. You don't want to believe it because it was family but I never doubted my daughter's tears and fears.
Then one week later, I got a phone call from him to simply say, "I'm sorry for what I did, but you see I was abused as a child and did not think I was doing anything wrong." At that moment, I did not pray or ask God for his or my forgiveness but just wanted to kill him right then. He stole my daughter's innocence and damaged her spirit.
My daughter testified before the grand jury and to our surprise over 33 girls and women over the past 35 years came forward to say they had experienced his approaches. Each one told my daughter thank you because they had held in in during their lives as well and now could move on.
It took years before I could forgive him and one thing that has stuck with me for years is that my daughter said, "Unless I forgive him, he will have control over my life the rest of my life". I am so proud of my daughter but events that were brought to life this past week can make me recall the rough memories.
Pray for the victims of abuse so they may grow to forgive their abusers so they will not have control over their life. Trust me it is easier said than done, but necessary. Is there someone you need to forgive?
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