Helping your Personal Growth

None of us should ever stop learning.  My wonderful mother-in-law (which I never call her that) is over 80 years old and is tech savoy.   She continues to master computers, programs, stay busy on Skype and other IM programs.  In fact she just got her new laptop  and has the mobile freedom to stay in touch with the world.  When any of her younger  or older friends get a computer they call her to set it up and to show them how it works.

Too often we see people say the world is moving too fast and that they enjoyed the good ol' days when life was simple.  Well, get use to the idea that the good ol' days are in the past and we have to live in today and plan for tomorrow.

I am a terrible planner but will take an idea and run hard with it.  So in all my years I really never had a personal growth plan and believed your growth plan was the next job or action that needed to take place in order to get higher in business or influence others.  Then in a training seminar in early January with a men's group at church, I was challenged to put together a personal growth plan for 2011.  In fact this blog is the result of that training.

So I wanted to share the concept with you in which you can find the link in this post.  The biggest thing I am learning from this plan is to grow my faith and trust in what is happening around me and with my life.  When you see there are eleven categories of action, it can get depressing, but once you dive in and approach each one at a different time, it becomes a great habit.  Do I do all eleven each day.  NO. . .  and it is not expected.  Instead, I strive to cover the basics each day and then focus on the extras at least once a week. 

Personal Growth Plan - Faith Promise

My encouragement is to be like Mom and learn something new that you can use the rest of your life.  It may be technical or just taking the time to plan your growth for the next year.  Either way, just do it!

Thanks Mom for your example and I hope to be doing the same in a few years!

Getting Prepared for Obstacles

2 Chronicles 20:1-2 “After this, the armies of the Moabites, Ammonites, and some of the Meunites declared war on Jehoshaphat. Messengers came and told Jehoshaphat, “A vast army from Edom is marching against you from beyond the Dead Sea.”

Sometimes is it difficult to even pronounce the names of some of the Old Testament kings and prophets but a study of King Jehoshaphat (Ja-hose-a-fat) gives us insight for our lives today. A quick review of Chapter 19 of the book of Chronicles shows a king that had not followed the exact orders of God and was told about it by the prophet, Jehu. Jehoshaphat talked to the Lord and made changes. He established judges for the nation of Israel and when this was completed, the Lord then blessed the nation immensely.

In our lives we go through periods of time where everything falls right into place and the world seems in perfect harmony. Whenever that happens to us we usually look around and ask, “Life can’t always be this good, so when is it going to end?”   Then an event or situation  hits us like it did the Israel nation. Not just one nation declared war on them but three at the same time.

In studying history we find that this meant that they were outnumbered five to one on the battlefield. I’d say that was an obstacle bigger than we might encounter. So what did Jehoshaphat do? Let’s read on:   2 Chronicles 20:3 “Jehoshaphat was alarmed by this news and immediately sought the Lord for guidance.” What a concept! An obstacle is placed in front of him and what did he do? He asked the Lord for guidance!

That advice is a lot easier to read than to do. Often we think we can handle obstacles on our own. We don’t want to bother the Lord with our daily trivia because he has so much bigger things to do. In that thought process we do not truly understand God.

As His children, our daily lives and obstacles are as important as the world leaders and the obstacles they encounter in making decisions for their nations. God is here for everyone! Right now our lives may be going well and everything is great. Still, we need to thank the Lord daily for His blessings and realize that He never forsakes us even when obstacles arise.

Although Jehoshaphat was scared when he heard the bad news, we never have to give into our fears. Instead, let’s do what he did … look to the Lord for guidance. It’s the best relief medicine I know.

Let’s get prepared for any obstacle through that one on one relationship with the Lord.

I See What You Are Not Saying

Philippians 2:1-2  If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His Love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being likeminded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.

How many times have you been involved in a discussion with your husband, wife, or a friend when one of you, agreeing, says, “I see what you’re saying.”  But within a few moments you realize, by their actions, body language, or mannerisms, which their true feelings are really very different from what was said.

In a marriage, body language can reveal more than our words.  We commit our lives to this other person on our wedding day, but as each anniversary passes our own selfish desires move into our thoughts and life.  The result is that we create our own agenda for life apart from the marriage.  That’s not to say that you can not have different careers or goals, but have you discussed them with your friend (your spouse) before you leap into action?   

Are there silent messages that you send to your husband or wife when you are upset or angry?

Have you ever noticed that if you and your spouse are going to have a fight, it’s likely going to happen on Sunday morning. What do you do when you are upset with your spouse just before going to church?  If there was an argument while getting ready for church, one of my old “bad” habits was to be silent in the car, hustle the kids quickly into Sunday School, walk ten feet ahead of my spouse, and then begin to greet people as if it was a beautiful day in the neighborhood.  The silent message I sent to her was devastating. 

Sooo . . . how do you deal with anger between you and your spouse in a proper manner?  Here are some suggestions.

Consider setting up some rules that you both agree to follow regarding arguments.  Make sure to do this when both of you are in a good mood.  It avoids well, . . . an arguments. Ephesians 4: 26 says, “. . . Do not let the sun set on your anger”.  So make that your great first rule.  Never fall into bed while you are angry.  It ruins a good night’s sleep for both of you.  It’s also a good idea to agree on rules for arguments when you are going out to meet people, and especially, when children are present (much of how they treat their future spouses will be learned from you!).

Second, make sure you attack the situation and not the person.  So often past experiences jump to the forefront when one gets angry.  So, it becomes vital to help the person understand your anger and not just vent.  Often, arguments are a result of something that happened at work, a headache you are dealing with,  or with actions and attitudes of the kids.  Your spouse is not a punching bag to absorb all the blows from the day.  Once you understand the nature of your anger, you can vent without making it seem like a personal attack. 

 Third,  avoid "Why" questions.  "Why did you not take the garbage out?"  That will get a response but often not the one desired.  A response like, "Because I was not in the mood," will generate more conversation but not get the desired effect.  The garbage will be taken out but with anger at the bottom of the garbage can.  Learn to phrase your desires so they have no appearance of an attack.

Lastly, make up!  A prayer together, an “I Love You”, and an “I’m Sorry”, will go a long way to defusing anger and hurt feelings. And the benefits of making up are well worth it.  Lessons for me to keep learning.

Once the rules are in place, live by them and use them.  A little preparation will go a long way to making sure your marriage gets through the really tough spots.

Why Lord?

I grew up never questioning God and what happened in the world.  Then in my studies at college, I began asking the question, "Why Lord?"  It was, "why does this happen,  or why did you make that happen, or just asking why".  But I felt guilty to question the Almighty.  So my lack of understanding hit me with a guilt trip for years.

Then I found out that King David asked the "Why" question.   Also Job ask God the "Why" question for what he had been dealt.  It was the fall of 1987 and I had some really tough things going on in my life.  So I took a long walk in the woods and in an effort of desperation, I yelled at God and asked Him the "Why was he allowing this to happen to me?"   The area was now an eerie quiet and I dropped to the ground and wept.  The situation did not get much better, but I learned some great life lessons that help me serve others today.

This week a young man of 17 who had so much talent and was active in his church was overtaken to cancer and passed away.  My thoughts run to asking "Why?"  Then I realize that God's plan is not our plan.  Another friend some time ago lost a small 3 year old child to cancer.  The father's strength through his pain amazed me. He said, "I have to believe that the Lord knew best and gave us 3 years with one of His blessed children.  I know that the Devil holds on to death and pain on earth (as seen in the Book of Job) and that the Lord sees what our entire life will be like.  He called Leanne home because if she had lived a longer life,  what pain and horror would she have had to deal with in life that could have moved her away from a relationship with Lord.  So we thank the Lord for the blessing of experiencing our daughter."  WOW!

Take a moment and do three things.  First thank the Lord for your children and their children and then hug them whenever you can.  Write your children a letter to tell them how you love them and how you pray for them and their children.  Third, don't be afraid to ask the Lord, "Why?"

In asking the question, you will gain a new understanding that will help you serve others.  In reality, it is a great faith builder that will get stronger each day you breathe.  The Heavenly Father does know best.