Who Was on Your Guest List?

Matthew 19: 5-6  “. . . a man will leave his family and be joined together with his wife, and the two will become one life.  They are no longer two, but one.  What God has joined together, let no one separate.”

The church was filled for the joyous occasion with beautiful flowers and music all around.  Two lives were being joined together in the presence of God and friends.  But in the back corner, in the very last chair, sat an uninvited guest.  He is busy writing on a legal pad as each vow is spoken.  On his pad was written:

“I watched you both as you grew to love each other and I didn’t say a word.  People say that dating always brings out the best in each person, but to me it is just preparation for the plans I have for your lives.

I’ll allow you get through the honeymoon and maybe a month or two of blissful happiness.  But this thing about serving the Lord together and being an example for others is just not in MY plans.

Let’s see!  You both must work long hours to get the possessions I dangle in front of you.  For the groom, you will have little sensitivity to your bride’s feelings as I give you plenty of guy things to do and think about.  There’s golf rather than a date, and the TV ball games on Saturday, the Internet every waking moment, and on other days just doing your own thing rather than playing with your children.  Let’s not forget about Sunday’s.  There’s no time for church, or prayer, or giving, for either one of you.

Ah, I hear the pastor talk about God bonding you together.  What he bonds today, I’ll pull apart next week, next month, and next year.  Some of my best pleasures to tear at a relationship are money, possessions, children, fellow employees, and just being too busy for each other. I can take you two and turn you away from God and you won’t even realize it until you’re in divorce court.”

This may sound a little absurd, but when you look at the ever increasing divorce rates and see many of your friends ending their marriage, it’s appears that Satan is having his way with many of us.  He knows your faults and weakness.  He capitalizes on each area until we see a stranger in the house that we call our spouse.

We figure that our lives are going to be happy because two people get married.  Yet when the daily grind of life hits us, we often turn our attention to the day’s events and forget the Lord all together.

So as you are confronted by the world’s issues, take time for each other.  Not just for romance, but for working on your commitment to each other through prayer, and focusing each day on the Lord. 

Work on taking Satan off your guest list today in every decision you make!

Be a Friend!

" Proverbs 27:17 “Iron sharpens iron, so does a man’s wise counsel sharpen the countenance of his friend.”

I am a recovering co-dependent rescuer. What that means in simple terms is that for many years I felt worthless unless I could help someone in trouble. I went so far as to seek out people who I thought needed help, even though they didn’t. By limiting my help only to friends, I brought a lot of frustration and pain into my life.

After receiving professional counseling, I realized that the previous experiences and habits gave me no real joy, but rather a false sense of accomplishment. For me, friends were people I could use to make me feel better. Having grown up in a Christian setting where what you do gets you to heaven, I was driven to help everyone I could. Part of the counseling process was to help me realize how wrong that was and how important God’s grace is for my life.

It’s interesting how during those years I had many acquaintances, but few real friends. The verse above in Proverbs 27 had never really applied to me. But once the focus of my personality and drive had changed, I desired to find just a few special friends that I could be myself with and thus develop a transparent relationship.

Soon after that experience I found a friend. She was a lovely lady who told me in no uncertain terms that she did not need to be rescued. As a result, we developed a relationship based solely on honesty, trust . . . and eventually love. Lynnette became my best friend long before she became my wife. Through that relationship, I was able to become a friend to others without feeling the need to fix their lives. Some time later, I became acquainted with a couple of men, men who also didn’t need to be rescued. It was great. I found myself simply relaxing in their friendship. I could listen to them without the need to fix them. I could feel their emotions. Share in their joys. In doing that I became their friend.

When there was a tough issue to discuss or a behavior in their life that was moving them away from their relationship with Christ, I could talk to them about it and know that they would listen and evaluate a friend’s counsel. The verse became reality. From what I’ve learned here’s my advice.

Realize your worth as a child of God. Learn of His love for you and the grace He has given freely. Develop a deep relationship with the Lord through prayer and Bible study. Then, be a friend to someone. And let that relationship make you and your friend better.