When you read the title today you may think if has something to do with the University of Tennessee and a sports activity. Being a Tennessee Volunteer that is the farthest thing from my mind.
What is on my mind is how leaders in volunteer organizations sometimes kill the spirit to serve through their words and actions. Churches and organizations like the Salvation Army call for volunteers to serve in some capacity. The Prime leader who encourages people to get involved is normally never the one to lead the volunteers on a day to day or event to event activity. Instead they assign another leader for that task.
Way too many times, the assigned leader treats the volunteers like employees. They are talked down to and given assignments that not any leader would attempt. Then they openly criticize the person or persons before other volunteers individuals and when the number of volunteers diminish, they can not understand why they no longer get volunteers. One verbal "You did terrible" will kill five "great jobs done". Sometimes it just has to be overheard by the volunteer or if you are a volunteer who hears a leader talking about another volunteer, you may wonder, "What do they say about me when I am not around?"
Usually they assign blame in every direction except back at their leaders and techniques.
The main leader of an organization needs to make sure their leaders are well trained and sensitive to the feelings of the volunteers. Understand that volunteers are NOT paid staff. In reality, I have always hoped leaders never treat their employees the way some volunteers are treated. We are not in the 50's where it was thought that yelling or talking down to employees made them stronger.
Volunteers are exactly that, volunteers who give time, effort, sacrifice, and money to an organization out of the goodness of their heart to serve and use their talents. Never a doormat to build up another leader.
Therefore I encourage each leader to look at his or her organization and get the subordinate leaders trained in how to lead volunteers. You may lose a few leaders in the process of training, but your volunteer core will thrive. People naturally serve where they feel desired and needed.
Just a thought for today!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Friday, December 16, 2011
Working Thorugh Christmas Depression
Experts say that Christmas time is the most likely time of the year to experience depression. They claim that the suicide rate is higher during December and early January than any other month and we need to understand that Christmas depression should be taken quite seriously.
Depression at Christmas time can be triggered by a multitude of things, such as losses, failures, and loneliness. These elements are exacerbated this time of year. People who have had death in the family or have experienced divorce or the loss of a child are more prone to depression, especially during any holiday season.
It can be especially difficult to cope with a Christmas depression because everyone else seems so joyous, and so reaching out feels more awkward. We don't want to bring down those around us, we don't want to feel "different" or alienate ourselves, and we don't want to draw attention to ourselves either. We tend to disassociate ourselves from our own feelings and ask ourselves self defeating questions. We wonder what's wrong with ourselves and why we can barely drag ourselves out of bed and become functional human beings. On top of our feeling sad and dysfunctional, we feel out of place everywhere and somehow cannot validate our feelings.
Not all holiday depression has anything to do with loss or failure or death, or even anything obvious. Sometimes people tend to just get depressed around the holidays. Yet those without an obvious “reason” feel that they really shouldn't be depressed and are least likely to reach out for help. It’s as though people who have experienced trauma in their life have more of a “right” to experience holiday depression than those who appear to have everything that could need or want. If you are a Christ Follower you become so critical of yourself and think, “I’m happy to celebrate the birth of Jesus, so why do I feel this way?”
The onset of Christmas depression can sneak up on you in numerous forms. You may simply start to feel more tired than normal or start sleeping through the alarm. You may procrastinate on holiday shopping, even when those events that require your participation are only a few days away. You may start to feel randomly irritable, or snap at people without provocation. You may start to feel disconnected with the world and withdraw from those around you, even children. These are all signs that you are experiencing at least some form of holiday depression, and warning signs that you may need help in dealing with whatever is making you feel this way.
If you are alone at Christmas time and you realize that you are coming down with holiday depression, reach out to someone by phone, whether it is a friend, a relative, or a professional, just call someone. This is so important. There is nothing to be ashamed of and there are plenty of people willing and able to assist you. A bad moment (even a really long one that last several weeks) does not have to ruin a future. Unfortunately people who find themselves depressed and do nothing about it are prone to staying depressed, maybe for the entire winter. Living in depression can interfere with job performance, friendships, romantic relationships, parenting ability, self care, and even the ability to take care of the dog or cat. It can lead to losses of very important things if the depression becomes serious enough.
I know about this as I have experienced it in the past, so I encourage you to know the signs and do something about them by reaching out. If you see someone else depressed this season, you should reach out to them. Just let them know you care and offer suggestions for things to do to keep them away from depression. Your friends need you and it’s not for money or just a passing, “Merry Christmas”.
Even if you know first hand that you are loved by the Creator, do not feel ashamed that you are having these feelings. They are real ! So I encourage you to go help at homeless shelter or food kitchen. You will not feel alone when you see the appreciation on the faces of many who do not they have any hope. It is a great way to get through depressing times this Christmas!
Particularly this Christmas Season demonstrate your caring!
Depression at Christmas time can be triggered by a multitude of things, such as losses, failures, and loneliness. These elements are exacerbated this time of year. People who have had death in the family or have experienced divorce or the loss of a child are more prone to depression, especially during any holiday season.
It can be especially difficult to cope with a Christmas depression because everyone else seems so joyous, and so reaching out feels more awkward. We don't want to bring down those around us, we don't want to feel "different" or alienate ourselves, and we don't want to draw attention to ourselves either. We tend to disassociate ourselves from our own feelings and ask ourselves self defeating questions. We wonder what's wrong with ourselves and why we can barely drag ourselves out of bed and become functional human beings. On top of our feeling sad and dysfunctional, we feel out of place everywhere and somehow cannot validate our feelings.
Not all holiday depression has anything to do with loss or failure or death, or even anything obvious. Sometimes people tend to just get depressed around the holidays. Yet those without an obvious “reason” feel that they really shouldn't be depressed and are least likely to reach out for help. It’s as though people who have experienced trauma in their life have more of a “right” to experience holiday depression than those who appear to have everything that could need or want. If you are a Christ Follower you become so critical of yourself and think, “I’m happy to celebrate the birth of Jesus, so why do I feel this way?”
The onset of Christmas depression can sneak up on you in numerous forms. You may simply start to feel more tired than normal or start sleeping through the alarm. You may procrastinate on holiday shopping, even when those events that require your participation are only a few days away. You may start to feel randomly irritable, or snap at people without provocation. You may start to feel disconnected with the world and withdraw from those around you, even children. These are all signs that you are experiencing at least some form of holiday depression, and warning signs that you may need help in dealing with whatever is making you feel this way.
If you are alone at Christmas time and you realize that you are coming down with holiday depression, reach out to someone by phone, whether it is a friend, a relative, or a professional, just call someone. This is so important. There is nothing to be ashamed of and there are plenty of people willing and able to assist you. A bad moment (even a really long one that last several weeks) does not have to ruin a future. Unfortunately people who find themselves depressed and do nothing about it are prone to staying depressed, maybe for the entire winter. Living in depression can interfere with job performance, friendships, romantic relationships, parenting ability, self care, and even the ability to take care of the dog or cat. It can lead to losses of very important things if the depression becomes serious enough.
I know about this as I have experienced it in the past, so I encourage you to know the signs and do something about them by reaching out. If you see someone else depressed this season, you should reach out to them. Just let them know you care and offer suggestions for things to do to keep them away from depression. Your friends need you and it’s not for money or just a passing, “Merry Christmas”.
Even if you know first hand that you are loved by the Creator, do not feel ashamed that you are having these feelings. They are real ! So I encourage you to go help at homeless shelter or food kitchen. You will not feel alone when you see the appreciation on the faces of many who do not they have any hope. It is a great way to get through depressing times this Christmas!
Particularly this Christmas Season demonstrate your caring!
Monday, December 12, 2011
Grandchildren Personalities
Have you ever noticed how different your children are? One may have an outgoing personality while the others are quiet and to themselves. One thing I remember saying to my daughter when see was young, who was always mischievous and active from the time her eyes opened until she fell asleep at night, "The Lord has a great sense of humor and will give you a child that is exactly like you." In watching all six grandchildren this weekend, I see their personalities coming out strong.
To share a tidbit of their personalities -
One like to be in control - both of herself and others and knows what she wants and pushes hard to get it.
Another is quiet and likes doing things without all the commotion. Reading is as much fun as playing in the yard
Still another one is so sweet and quiet but takes everything to heart and ponders them within her. She loves interaction but when it gets too much, she is OK to be to herself.
The third from the youngest is a bundle of energy and can't get enough of having a good time. This is the one I told my daughter that God would bless her with.
Then the youngest can get away with about anything because he knows how to smile and bat his eyes in a way that not only melts your heart but allows him to get away with almost anything.
I won't take the time to describe each personality in depth but one of my son's daughter's has a very strong will and demonstrates it often. This loving child who loves to hold hands, kiss you, talk to anyone and finds no strangers, can turn in a heartbeat to a strong willed, "No way" attitude. Her eyes tell the story as she tilts her head down and gives you a look to let you know she is in rebellion mode. Then for the first time this year she points her finger at you and shakes it just so you know she does not approve of what or how you are dealing with her. So watching this personality grow will be challenging and fun at the same time.
In spending time with each one, I marvel at the what God has created with similar environments but very different outlooks and actions that demonstrate who they are.
We need to appreciate the differences people have and try not to change them but help them realize the person that the Lord created. Our goal should be to channel the strengths and encourage the weaknesses so that each child can be the best person as an adult as they are when young.
Today, are you encouraging the weaknesses of people or are you making them "come in line" with your thinking. I look at it that this world would be insane if everyone was like me. Still, as an older adult, I want to be encouraged to do better and not told what I HAVE to do.
Encouragement is what grandparents are suppose to do but then again, parents should sometimes step back to make sure that the child is not living out their wish lists but taking the best in each child and helping them to take giant leaps into the future.
Just a thought out loud.
To share a tidbit of their personalities -
One like to be in control - both of herself and others and knows what she wants and pushes hard to get it.
Another is quiet and likes doing things without all the commotion. Reading is as much fun as playing in the yard
Still another one is so sweet and quiet but takes everything to heart and ponders them within her. She loves interaction but when it gets too much, she is OK to be to herself.
The third from the youngest is a bundle of energy and can't get enough of having a good time. This is the one I told my daughter that God would bless her with.
Then the youngest can get away with about anything because he knows how to smile and bat his eyes in a way that not only melts your heart but allows him to get away with almost anything.
I won't take the time to describe each personality in depth but one of my son's daughter's has a very strong will and demonstrates it often. This loving child who loves to hold hands, kiss you, talk to anyone and finds no strangers, can turn in a heartbeat to a strong willed, "No way" attitude. Her eyes tell the story as she tilts her head down and gives you a look to let you know she is in rebellion mode. Then for the first time this year she points her finger at you and shakes it just so you know she does not approve of what or how you are dealing with her. So watching this personality grow will be challenging and fun at the same time.
In spending time with each one, I marvel at the what God has created with similar environments but very different outlooks and actions that demonstrate who they are.
We need to appreciate the differences people have and try not to change them but help them realize the person that the Lord created. Our goal should be to channel the strengths and encourage the weaknesses so that each child can be the best person as an adult as they are when young.
Today, are you encouraging the weaknesses of people or are you making them "come in line" with your thinking. I look at it that this world would be insane if everyone was like me. Still, as an older adult, I want to be encouraged to do better and not told what I HAVE to do.
Encouragement is what grandparents are suppose to do but then again, parents should sometimes step back to make sure that the child is not living out their wish lists but taking the best in each child and helping them to take giant leaps into the future.
Just a thought out loud.
Saturday, December 10, 2011
When Sleep Evades You
When do you have your creative juices flowing? Here it is, a little after 4:30 a.m. and I could not sleep any longer. I could get ready and go to work, but its Saturday and being in a hotel room and not being able to go back to sleep made me begin to dream.
Some of my best ideas pop into my head at this hour and some of my quiet times with the Lord are at the same time.
I could lay in the bed and toss and turn but then everyone would be awake and that is not fair. I come to the computer to check out the morning mail, find the news, and have some quiet time.
So I ask you, what do you do when sleep evades you? Are you a morning person who is wide awake when your eyes open or someone who can sleep until noon and has to have two cups of coffee before your can think about anything? Sometimes, I wish I could sleep longer and envy those who sleep long hours but that is not how the Lord wired me.
So here I sit typing and getting the dreams that have haunted me during the night to the forefront. They go down on a list until I take the time to develop them more fully. Do you have ideas that come to mind? At any hour? Never let them fade into forever but instead start a list of those ideas and check them out from time to time.
You never know if the next big idea is in your dreams.
Some of my best ideas pop into my head at this hour and some of my quiet times with the Lord are at the same time.
I could lay in the bed and toss and turn but then everyone would be awake and that is not fair. I come to the computer to check out the morning mail, find the news, and have some quiet time.
So I ask you, what do you do when sleep evades you? Are you a morning person who is wide awake when your eyes open or someone who can sleep until noon and has to have two cups of coffee before your can think about anything? Sometimes, I wish I could sleep longer and envy those who sleep long hours but that is not how the Lord wired me.
So here I sit typing and getting the dreams that have haunted me during the night to the forefront. They go down on a list until I take the time to develop them more fully. Do you have ideas that come to mind? At any hour? Never let them fade into forever but instead start a list of those ideas and check them out from time to time.
You never know if the next big idea is in your dreams.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
What Did Mary Feel?
As we approach Christmas, we tend to think of the presents, family, rushing around for the right holiday gift, and most importantly, the birth of our Lord. Reading the first three chapters of the Gospel of Luke, we should take a moment and think about what Mary may have felt during this whole experience, the birth of Jesus.
Mary, being a very young lady, was engaged to be married to Joseph. I’m sure it was with great anticipation that this virgin girl looked forward to her wedding, and her life with Joseph. Joyful! Then she was visited by an angel from the Lord who told her she was pregnant. How could that be? Mary was still a virgin. Confusion! You talk about mixed emotions.
When Joseph found out that Mary was pregnant he had decided not to marry her until an angel spoke to him and explained what was happening. I’m sure Mary also had many mixed emotions. Would she do what God wanted and risk losing Joseph, or find a way to make the problem go away? Fearful! When the time for her to give birth was near, Mary and Joseph had to travel to
Riding a donkey when she was nine months pregnant could not have been a pleasant experience. Traveling all that way only to find that there was no hotel room available would be discouraging to any woman in her situation...then to give birth in a stable with the smell of animals, hay and manure!
Ladies, stop and think how you would feel if you had to experience the same thing Mary did above?
Ladies, stop and think how you would feel if you had to experience the same thing Mary did above?
She must have felt many emotions. Exhaustion! Anger! Pain! Relief! But once she looked into her baby’s eyes, I’m sure Mary felt Peace! Joy! Love! What a journey! Christ did not come at a convenient time for anyone, but He did come at just the right time.
The shepherds knew it was the right time. The wise men knew it was the right time. Mary and Joseph knew it was the right time. Most importantly, God knew it was the right time.
This Christmas think about how, what seemed like the wrong time for Mary and Joseph, was the right time for you and me.
Ponder how you would feel in this situation and then look at the GREAT results of an eternal relationship with the Creator!
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Political Attack
I was going to hold off talking about this until next year during the heat of the political races, but my thoughts just could not wait.
Being in politics for four years, I can understand the pressure that is placed upon a person either running for an office or in that office. But in 1974 the media and special interest groups were not so vicious as they are today. I began being Mayor in a small town near Cincinnati, Ohio the same time Jerry Springer was stepping downs as Mayor of Cincinnati.
Each quarter we would have a regional Mayor's meeting to discuss ways we could help each community. It was one my first meeting that was so memorable. Jerry had been caught writing a check for a prostitute and what other Mayors ask Jerry was, "How could you be so stupid?"
I'm sure if that had happened today, the media would have had a field day and Jerry may not be the TV personality we know of today.
Look at any politican. They are human and make mistakes, but that does not matter because if the media can not find something, they make it up knowing that it is a lie but figure the damage will be done before the public finds out the truth. Then stand on the First Amendment to protect their lies.
So here's what I believe. If Jesus ran for a public office and as we know, had never done anything wrong, then the media would make something up to discredit him. Yet in my reading of the New Testament I find that our religious and political wolves are one in the same between over two thousand years ago and now.
He was found guilty for no guilt. They did not have the US constitution to say, "Innocent until proven guilty". It was the voice of the few that controled the results.
In the voice of public opinion today our politicans are "GUILTY until proven innocent.
So the question for today is why does anyone want to run for the highest office in the land? Maybe its to bring about change, or for their ego, or for helping the country get back on its feet. My running for political office was to bring respect to the office of Mayor in our community and develop methods of progress for the people. I got in, made the changes and set up the organization, then left. So many of our leaders today have lost the desire to serve in place of the desire to be rich and famous.
Just knowing that if Jesus could never be accepted by the few and was killed because of the media in His day. What makes you thing we can find a person to help us get back on our feet?
In conclusion today, find a person who has demonstrated success by incorporating ideas and get out and support him/her in spite of what the media says. Let the Constitution live within you.
Being in politics for four years, I can understand the pressure that is placed upon a person either running for an office or in that office. But in 1974 the media and special interest groups were not so vicious as they are today. I began being Mayor in a small town near Cincinnati, Ohio the same time Jerry Springer was stepping downs as Mayor of Cincinnati.
Each quarter we would have a regional Mayor's meeting to discuss ways we could help each community. It was one my first meeting that was so memorable. Jerry had been caught writing a check for a prostitute and what other Mayors ask Jerry was, "How could you be so stupid?"
I'm sure if that had happened today, the media would have had a field day and Jerry may not be the TV personality we know of today.
Look at any politican. They are human and make mistakes, but that does not matter because if the media can not find something, they make it up knowing that it is a lie but figure the damage will be done before the public finds out the truth. Then stand on the First Amendment to protect their lies.
So here's what I believe. If Jesus ran for a public office and as we know, had never done anything wrong, then the media would make something up to discredit him. Yet in my reading of the New Testament I find that our religious and political wolves are one in the same between over two thousand years ago and now.
He was found guilty for no guilt. They did not have the US constitution to say, "Innocent until proven guilty". It was the voice of the few that controled the results.
In the voice of public opinion today our politicans are "GUILTY until proven innocent.
So the question for today is why does anyone want to run for the highest office in the land? Maybe its to bring about change, or for their ego, or for helping the country get back on its feet. My running for political office was to bring respect to the office of Mayor in our community and develop methods of progress for the people. I got in, made the changes and set up the organization, then left. So many of our leaders today have lost the desire to serve in place of the desire to be rich and famous.
Just knowing that if Jesus could never be accepted by the few and was killed because of the media in His day. What makes you thing we can find a person to help us get back on our feet?
In conclusion today, find a person who has demonstrated success by incorporating ideas and get out and support him/her in spite of what the media says. Let the Constitution live within you.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
What Do You Need for Christmas?
Philippians 4:19 “God will give you all you have need of from the wealth of his glory in Christ Jesus.”
As we approach Christmas, it is great to hear the old carols and songs of the season. The other day, one song came to mind when I studied this verse: “All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth.” It sounds like such a silly song, but I caught myself singing along.
Another day, Lynnette asked what I needed for Christmas. “Where’s the paper to write my list?” I said. There are so many new things on the market! Yet the paper was blank for a long time as I considered what I “needed” for Christmas.
Over the years, the Lord has blessed me with so much, yet I began listing “stuff” that I thought I needed to keep up with today’s demands. But once I reflected on the partially completed list, I crumpled up the paper and threw it away. None of it was a need, merely “wants.”
Experience has shown me that if the Lord had given me everything I ever wanted, I would have made terrible mistakes and forgotten who was really responsible for the increase in my life. These experiences extended from relationship issues to financial decisions that failed.
When we look forward to this Christmas, we can all take a look at our needs versus our wants, and realize that it is because of the love that the Lord has for each one of us that our needs will be filled.
The bonus is that He also gives us many of our wants. If we concentrate less on what needs the Lord will give us then we can spend time on giving others their wants.
Things like friendship, time with friends and family, peace in our lives, joy in our children, and letting others see Christ through us.
Now thats a list I can fill up quickly. How about you?
Monday, December 5, 2011
Time for a Good Bath?
It wasn't so long ago that we ourselves were stupid and stubborn, dupes of sin, ordered every which way by our glands, going around with a chip on our shoulder, hated and hating back. But when God, our kind and loving Savior God, stepped in, he saved us from all that. It was all his doing; we had nothing to do with it. He gave us a good bath, and we came out of it new people, washed inside and out by the Holy Spirit. Our Savior Jesus poured out new life so generously. God's gift has restored our relationship with him and given us back our lives. And there's more life to come—an eternity of life! You can count on this. Titus 3:3-8
I read this recently at the recommendation of Rick Warren in the Message version and WOW did it make more sense that from previous readings. Often today those people who are called Christ Followers have forgotten what it was like before a relationship the Lord.
Great Christian people seem to have little tolerance for the type of people noted above and we see it in the way they act. On Sundays they dress up and go to church and give praises,worship, and prayers but if you see them at lunch afterwards they will have a comment about a person or family sitting in the restaurant that brings them back to "Stupid" as noted in verse 3.
We form opinions about those around us when we have never walked a moment in their shoes. Many people talk the talk of a Christ Follower but in observing their daily life their old nature comes flying to the forefront. Everything noted in verse three and four come flying to the surface.
Take a moment and reflect on your status today as a Christ Follower. Do not stare at other people's mistakes but stop and think, "Do I need a bath?"
If it is not a bath you need then maybe consider getting our a washcloth and realize that you are a new person who was stupid and stubborn, dupes of sin, ordered every which way by your glands, going around with a chip on our shoulder, hated and hating back.
Or is it time for a bath?
I read this recently at the recommendation of Rick Warren in the Message version and WOW did it make more sense that from previous readings. Often today those people who are called Christ Followers have forgotten what it was like before a relationship the Lord.
Great Christian people seem to have little tolerance for the type of people noted above and we see it in the way they act. On Sundays they dress up and go to church and give praises,worship, and prayers but if you see them at lunch afterwards they will have a comment about a person or family sitting in the restaurant that brings them back to "Stupid" as noted in verse 3.
We form opinions about those around us when we have never walked a moment in their shoes. Many people talk the talk of a Christ Follower but in observing their daily life their old nature comes flying to the forefront. Everything noted in verse three and four come flying to the surface.
Take a moment and reflect on your status today as a Christ Follower. Do not stare at other people's mistakes but stop and think, "Do I need a bath?"
If it is not a bath you need then maybe consider getting our a washcloth and realize that you are a new person who was stupid and stubborn, dupes of sin, ordered every which way by your glands, going around with a chip on our shoulder, hated and hating back.
Or is it time for a bath?
Thursday, December 1, 2011
A Troublesome Past
Can it be that our leaders know that he really is the Messiah? But how could it be? For we know where this man comes from. When the Messiah comes, he will simply appear; no one will know where he comes from. John 7:26-27
Others said, “He is the Messiah.” Still others said, “But he can’t be! Will the Messiah come from Galilee ?” John 7:41
The scriptures are clear: Jesus was perfect. So, obviously the critics couldn’t point to any of his actions as being evil (although they tried on several occasions). So they did the next best thing, they called attention to the only imperfect thing associated with him. His hometown,
Located well to the north of Jerusalem , the spiritual home of Israel , Galilee was an easy target for the mean-spirited religious leaders. The simple truth was that not much good did come out of Galilee . It was a rural area with the lower region (near Nazareth ) known for its fishing villages along the Sea of Galilee . The residents of this area were generally uneducated and not nearly as refined as the Pharisees and Sadducees of Jerusalem. So they questioned his credibility because of his birthplace, not his life.
They said the same thing about Darrell.
Darrell was born in the bluegrass hills of
Until one day when he gave the carpenter from a small town in
Do you have a past that you are not proud of? Do you come from a place that has been condemned by others? Has your credibility been attacked by mean-spirited religious people? If so, then just remember who, and Who’s you are. Remember that you are a new creation. Remember that He has erased your past.
And, remember that it’s not where you came from but where you are going that really matters.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
StoryTellers give some GREAT Lessons
Luke 8: 4-8 While the crowd was gathering and people were coming to Jesus from town to town, he told them a parable: "A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds of the air ate it up. Some fell on rock, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and provided a crop a hundred times more than what was sown."
Clyde was a man in his late 50' s who grew up in the hills of eastern Tennessee Jonesbourgh
He was an official "storyteller".
Each of
Most everyone can relate to a well-told story. So, when He taught via parables, like the one above, everyone could relate because they had seen seeds planted. It was easy to understand the "moral" of the story as most had seen the perils and victories of planting seeds.
Sometimes we can become so "religious" that we miss the relationship Jesus wants with each one of us. We focus so much on the small things that we miss the excitement and love that is packed in a daily walk with Christ. His story is simple and one with a happy ending.
Everyone has a story to tell others; starting with the story of your relationship with the Lord.
To whom have you told your story, lately?
Never miss an opportunity to tell your story. . .the good, the bad, the ugly, and how you came though those times with a new understanding of life and relationships.Monday, November 28, 2011
A Little Christmas Advice
Before Halloween costumes have been placed in storage, retailers and manufacturers start pumping the airwaves with propaganda about the perfect toy, the perfect diamond ring to prove your love and the perfect food for the perfect, wonderful family celebration. Even before Thanksgiving our minds race with too many decisions: What to get for the person who has everything (probably almost everyone on your list), where to get the money for those perfect gifts. What to wear, or how to lose that extra pounds so you can get into last year' s clothes!
Don' t Miss Christmas! We need to make sure that we set some time aside for each other. You may want to start with events such as Christmas eve services or activities where the entire family can be together. Share the Workload Be realistic about how much you can do in one day and plan for delays and unexpected interruptions (traffic jams, a sick child, a flat tire, a cashier who doesn' t know what he is doing, long lines).
As Christmas grows closer remember the reasons for the season and be willing to cross off your list some of the unfinished tasks. Enlist your children. Tell them ahead of time what your expectations are and assign specific responsibilities appropriate for their age. Even little ones can fold napkins or help in some way! Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations. Too often we allow the media to define the perfect Christmas. Such a perfect season is depicted as incomplete without softly falling snow, piles of packages, food beyond our ability to consume, and a table surrounded by happy, happy people. Jesus is absent from this picture of warmth and "love". Unrealistic expectations lead to major disappointments.
Change the things you can, accept the things you can' t. Expect people to act as they always do! The presence of Jesus in our hearts equips us to reflect His love and compassion when others disappoint us. Spend extra time with Him when you know you will be around people who are difficult.
We need to make the effort to reflect the peace of Jesus to a hostile world.
Talk about STRESS! Someone has defined "anxiety" as the inability to cope with stress. Is anxiety the context in which we are living out a "holiday" that represents peace and stability to the Christian world? If so, take a deep breath and consider incorporating some of these ideas into your every day life, one day at a time.
Don
Ask your family members what they like about Christmas - what are "non-negotiable" traditions. You might be surprised to learn that what you think absolutely must be done, no one else really cares about! Make lists of every job - even the smallest - and prioritize tasks.
As Christmas grows closer remember the reasons for the season and be willing to cross off your list some of the unfinished tasks. Enlist your children. Tell them ahead of time what your expectations are and assign specific responsibilities appropriate for their age. Even little ones can fold napkins or help in some way! Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations. Too often we allow the media to define the perfect Christmas. Such a perfect season is depicted as incomplete without softly falling snow, piles of packages, food beyond our ability to consume, and a table surrounded by happy, happy people. Jesus is absent from this picture of warmth and "love". Unrealistic expectations lead to major disappointments.
Change the things you can, accept the things you can
Ask Him to help you be a reflection of His peace. Intentionally Extend God' s Compassion Ask God who He wants you to touch with His love. Perhaps this is the year to invite neighbors to a Christmas celebration.
We need to make the effort to reflect the peace of Jesus to a hostile world.
Take Time to Play It' s not the pile of gifts that will create the satisfaction in a child - it' s the relationship. Take a walk and breathe in the creation of God. Are you alone? Refuse to feel sorry for yourself.
Ask God to bring to mind someone else who is alone and invite them to join you for a meal. Perhaps the best way to experience joy is to give joy away. Ask God to show you a way to share His love with someone who needs a special touch from Him. Joy and ministry to others are linked.
Joy comes when we know we are serving our Savior by serving others. Take Time Out to Pray When Jesus got busy, He slowed down. He deliberately withdrew for a while (Mark 1:37-39).
Early on Christmas morning turn the lights on the tree and just spend some time in quiet prayer of peace and love. You may find this could be the best Christmas ever.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Just Fell Out of Love
Some time ago, I was talking to a college friend of mine. He was married right our of college and has been married for 39 years. Our conversation centered around him saying that he just has fallen out of love with his wife.
I am no one to give speeches about divorce and how we should stick it out no matter what so I just listened to what he had to say. He noted that right out of college he loved the time they spent together in taking walks, holding hands, cuddling for no reason at all and the list went on. Then came full time job responsibilities and then kids and what had held them so close together for the first years foudn out that events and responsibilities began ever so slowly pulling them apart.
So the focus turned away from each other and onto the kids, jobs and the church. He spent time with the boys and new hobies and she spent time with the girls and shopping. His wife became short tempered and began critizing him over the dumbest things. To that end, he began pouring himself in things away from the home. Yet that did not work because when he did get home problems continued to grow and the peace of home faded away.
Bob just retired and found out that he was in the hosue with a stranger so he turned more to the grandkids but the air is still tense when the grandkids have gone home. Now he says that he does not want to spend the rest of his life making his wife miserable and himself miserable.
My only response was, "Have you tried dating her again?" He reply was, "We go out all the time". I replied, "No, I remember seeing you on campus, holding hands, laughing, and taking time with no worrys except for the next exam." Then I asked the "S" question. "How's your sex life?" "Non-existent because it is just too much of an effort." Then he asked me the big question. "What should I do?"
My response was to fall back in love with your wife. Focus on the first few months of your married life. His comment was, "Have sex twice a day?" I replied, "Why not? You don't have a job anymore so be creative. Set an alarm clock, fix her favorite snack, set the mood, give a massage, or anything that brings back the memories of the your first years."
Are you falling out of love with your spouse? You'll find out it is easier to try and make it work that to go through the pains of divorce. It is easier to recreate the times when you WERE in love than to encounter the unknown of a divorce. But it does take two. Bob's wife wanted to be back in love with him but just forgot about the fun in a relationship. The best part is that Bob and his wife agree to be creative and set the mood for building the relationship and not just for sex. Cuddling and holding hands was at one time high on thier list and so it is now coming back after years of responsibilities.
Never give up on another person, but take a step yourself to be fun like you did in your youth. This may just start as cuddling, hand holding, kissing, laughing or doing things without critism. The point is to start and not just be content to have fallen out of love.
I am no one to give speeches about divorce and how we should stick it out no matter what so I just listened to what he had to say. He noted that right out of college he loved the time they spent together in taking walks, holding hands, cuddling for no reason at all and the list went on. Then came full time job responsibilities and then kids and what had held them so close together for the first years foudn out that events and responsibilities began ever so slowly pulling them apart.
So the focus turned away from each other and onto the kids, jobs and the church. He spent time with the boys and new hobies and she spent time with the girls and shopping. His wife became short tempered and began critizing him over the dumbest things. To that end, he began pouring himself in things away from the home. Yet that did not work because when he did get home problems continued to grow and the peace of home faded away.
Bob just retired and found out that he was in the hosue with a stranger so he turned more to the grandkids but the air is still tense when the grandkids have gone home. Now he says that he does not want to spend the rest of his life making his wife miserable and himself miserable.
My only response was, "Have you tried dating her again?" He reply was, "We go out all the time". I replied, "No, I remember seeing you on campus, holding hands, laughing, and taking time with no worrys except for the next exam." Then I asked the "S" question. "How's your sex life?" "Non-existent because it is just too much of an effort." Then he asked me the big question. "What should I do?"
My response was to fall back in love with your wife. Focus on the first few months of your married life. His comment was, "Have sex twice a day?" I replied, "Why not? You don't have a job anymore so be creative. Set an alarm clock, fix her favorite snack, set the mood, give a massage, or anything that brings back the memories of the your first years."
Are you falling out of love with your spouse? You'll find out it is easier to try and make it work that to go through the pains of divorce. It is easier to recreate the times when you WERE in love than to encounter the unknown of a divorce. But it does take two. Bob's wife wanted to be back in love with him but just forgot about the fun in a relationship. The best part is that Bob and his wife agree to be creative and set the mood for building the relationship and not just for sex. Cuddling and holding hands was at one time high on thier list and so it is now coming back after years of responsibilities.
Never give up on another person, but take a step yourself to be fun like you did in your youth. This may just start as cuddling, hand holding, kissing, laughing or doing things without critism. The point is to start and not just be content to have fallen out of love.
Monday, November 21, 2011
A Blessing and A Curse
Many people who know me know that the Lord has blessed me with thinking outside the box. Part of the blessing is that ideas and things come to my mind long before others imagine the an idea or a new way of doing something. Often I thank God for this blessing.
I encourage you to appreciate your blessings that God gives you but realize that a gift or blessing can be misconceived by others and it becomes a curse. Persevere and try to focus on what the Lord is doing and not what people may be saying. Trust me that the Lord will comfort. Psalms 23:4
One such event took place over a year and one half ago. I was on the Board of Directors of a major corporation and brought a suggestion for action on program before someone else came up with the idea. I was given the head nod and a table action by the then President. A new president took over nine months later and I mentioned the idea as I was leaving the Board. Before she could bring it up before the new Board for action, she copied me on an email and guess what? An individual had the very same idea and acted upon that idea to create an application that did exactly what I mentioned to the corporation. I was happy for the person who created the application and will make a lot of money but sad that so many cannot see potential and act on that potential.
Some strangers, family and friends try to "change me" rather than accept who I am so I become someone they want me to be. I need to act and do things which do not make them uncomfortable.
A wise friend many years ago said that if 34% of my ideas are accepted then I will be successful. I want 100% because it has been revealed to me in depth the development of an idea but he reminded me that a professional baseball player who hits a 340 average during his life is in the hall of fame. So don’t worry about those who cannot understand, it’s just that they have not received the Lord’s gift of perceiving and understanding a vision.
Then another event recently did not make me angry but quite hurt and sad. I was having a conversation with a person and had previously told him about a marketing idea that is outside the box. But this conversation with this senior staff person was one of appreciation for some work that the individual had done. Within a minute, another staff member came up to this man and said, “I need you over here.” As they walked away, I heard the staff person saying, “I had to get you away from him.” I was quite hurt but did not show it and thought maybe I did not hear correctly. As I looked over my shoulder from across the room, this senior staff person I had been talking to was making coffee. I keep thinking, I was just imagining things but this is not the first time I have been dismissed for thinking outside the box. Makes me believe that maybe this my reputation?I’m tired of hurting being in tears, and in being hurt.
The Lord continues to give me ideas beyond day to day activities, but these recent events have me withholding the sharing of anything anymore. Instead I have begun a private listing of what God places in my heart and mind. Once the Lord has called me home, then someone else will know what God had placed on my mind and I hope that something can be used. My focus then will be on a wonderful Heaven and not what people here might have missed.
Even though you may not undersatnd a person, please do not just avoid them but try to see what they are really trying to say and not dismiss them and try and make them to what YOU want them to be. I encourage you to appreciate your blessings that God gives you but realize that a gift or blessing can be misconceived by others and it becomes a curse. Persevere and try to focus on what the Lord is doing and not what people may be saying. Trust me that the Lord will comfort. Psalms 23:4
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Bringing Back Rough Memories
Everyone is talking about the situation at Penn State and the events that took place years ago. As they discuss the mindset of the coach during that time it has quickly brought back some rough memories of my daughter's experiences.
Her uncle was an elder in the church, high up in the Masonic Lodge, police officer and respected in the community. But it was a program on TV that gave my daughter the courage to say something and come forward. During the seven plus years of sexual abuse beginning at age 4 he would tell her that it was their secret and that if she told no one would believe her. When confronted by the Sheriff's office he immediately denied everything and said it was her imagination.
For me too many "small" things that I felt were not right years before came to the surface and so we pursued legal action. You don't want to believe it because it was family but I never doubted my daughter's tears and fears.
Then one week later, I got a phone call from him to simply say, "I'm sorry for what I did, but you see I was abused as a child and did not think I was doing anything wrong." At that moment, I did not pray or ask God for his or my forgiveness but just wanted to kill him right then. He stole my daughter's innocence and damaged her spirit.
My daughter testified before the grand jury and to our surprise over 33 girls and women over the past 35 years came forward to say they had experienced his approaches. Each one told my daughter thank you because they had held in in during their lives as well and now could move on.
It took years before I could forgive him and one thing that has stuck with me for years is that my daughter said, "Unless I forgive him, he will have control over my life the rest of my life". I am so proud of my daughter but events that were brought to life this past week can make me recall the rough memories.
Pray for the victims of abuse so they may grow to forgive their abusers so they will not have control over their life. Trust me it is easier said than done, but necessary. Is there someone you need to forgive?
Her uncle was an elder in the church, high up in the Masonic Lodge, police officer and respected in the community. But it was a program on TV that gave my daughter the courage to say something and come forward. During the seven plus years of sexual abuse beginning at age 4 he would tell her that it was their secret and that if she told no one would believe her. When confronted by the Sheriff's office he immediately denied everything and said it was her imagination.
For me too many "small" things that I felt were not right years before came to the surface and so we pursued legal action. You don't want to believe it because it was family but I never doubted my daughter's tears and fears.
Then one week later, I got a phone call from him to simply say, "I'm sorry for what I did, but you see I was abused as a child and did not think I was doing anything wrong." At that moment, I did not pray or ask God for his or my forgiveness but just wanted to kill him right then. He stole my daughter's innocence and damaged her spirit.
My daughter testified before the grand jury and to our surprise over 33 girls and women over the past 35 years came forward to say they had experienced his approaches. Each one told my daughter thank you because they had held in in during their lives as well and now could move on.
It took years before I could forgive him and one thing that has stuck with me for years is that my daughter said, "Unless I forgive him, he will have control over my life the rest of my life". I am so proud of my daughter but events that were brought to life this past week can make me recall the rough memories.
Pray for the victims of abuse so they may grow to forgive their abusers so they will not have control over their life. Trust me it is easier said than done, but necessary. Is there someone you need to forgive?
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
What has This World Become?
As a Dreamer you are drawn to events and thoughts that many "normal" people may not think about. For me I stumbled across a 4:00 a.m. morning radio show on the way to the airport where the host was talking to a book writer that we are involved in a Cosmic Chess Match (The name of his book). Quoting the Old Testament he talked of the fallen angels and the need for God to Destroy the entire world.
Not really believing everything that was being said, I looked up details on fallen angels and their interaction on the earth. Click on the link and see how the scripture fits so well. Fallen Angels having sex with women
Once I read this I recalled what this man was saying on the radio. Quoting the New Testament, "The coming of the Son of Man will be like what happened in the time of Noah.38 In the days before the flood people ate and drank, men and women married, up to the very day Noah went into the boat;39 yet they did not realize what was happening until the flood came and swept them all away. That is how it will be when the Son of Man comes. Matthew 24:37-39
He noted that when the UFO aliens show themselves to the entire world, the end is near. In the Chess Match between God and Satan, the fallen angels will show themselves like they did in Genesis 6 and be so smooth in their approach to "Save the Earth"so that most people will follow them because of their abilities and power. This may happen in our lifetime or the lifetime of your children.
Reading Matthew 24 can develop a pattern between Genesis 6 and End Times.
The focus from this Dreamer is that you just go forward with your eyes wide open. It may be a Dream thinking or it may not. Just read further and be prepared.
Not really believing everything that was being said, I looked up details on fallen angels and their interaction on the earth. Click on the link and see how the scripture fits so well. Fallen Angels having sex with women
Once I read this I recalled what this man was saying on the radio. Quoting the New Testament, "The coming of the Son of Man will be like what happened in the time of Noah.38 In the days before the flood people ate and drank, men and women married, up to the very day Noah went into the boat;39 yet they did not realize what was happening until the flood came and swept them all away. That is how it will be when the Son of Man comes. Matthew 24:37-39
He noted that when the UFO aliens show themselves to the entire world, the end is near. In the Chess Match between God and Satan, the fallen angels will show themselves like they did in Genesis 6 and be so smooth in their approach to "Save the Earth"so that most people will follow them because of their abilities and power. This may happen in our lifetime or the lifetime of your children.
Reading Matthew 24 can develop a pattern between Genesis 6 and End Times.
The focus from this Dreamer is that you just go forward with your eyes wide open. It may be a Dream thinking or it may not. Just read further and be prepared.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Dunamis - From which we get Dynamite
I found this article recently and it explains a lot. See if this makes any sense to you.
In 1864, a nitroglycerine factory in Stockholm belonging to Dr. Alfred Nobel exploded, killing his younger brother Emil. In an attempt to make his factories safer, Dr. Nobel stumbled upon an invention that would allow nitroglycerine to be used for explosive purposes in a controlled environment. While searching for a word to his new discovery, he came upon a Greek word called dunamis from which translates to our English word of dynamite.
In Romans 1:16 the Bible uses the term "dunamis" to refer to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This the phrase "The gospel is God's power (dunamis) unto salvation".
Humm. . . The gospel of Jesus demonstrates God's dynamite for salvation. Image that kind of power. Yet most people today either try to water down the dynamite, put it out of their minds, deny it ever existed, try to dictate it to others from yelling sermons or making it a cure all for any ills. But they miss the real power (dunamis).
When you think about what the writer in Romans was saying this dynamite was being seen in the world at that time. Jesus's journey set off an explosion that is still going on today. As much as people want to water down the message, when you take it into your heart, an explosion of love, compassion, and desire comes into you. You do not find this explosion in Religion but in that one on one relationship with the Creator.
Do you have a case of dynamite within you? Has it exploded yet. Take out a stick by reading or listening to some on line messages. You will feel the dynamite exploding in your heart. click here: BRB
Love Ya!
Friday, October 28, 2011
Harness the Abuse
Often we are quick to criticize or we hold in all our frustration from work in until we get home. We feel comfortable to vent or release the frustration that builds up from work or a boss or a customer.
When we get home from a rough day it does not take long for anyone in the home to say something that gets on your nerves and wow you release on them when they are innocent bystanders. If you know that you are tired and frustrated from work, stop at the front door and take a deep breath. You are entering your safe environment but that does not give you the right to take out your frustrations on them. Yet this is one of the main actions that becomes part of spousal abuse.
If you know that raising you voice quickly puts everyone in the home on alert, figure a way to relax for any conversation. Drinking or finding an out of the home outlet is no method to help. I have known co-workers who went to a friend's house to have sex before heading home so, "They can relax". Funny how they never take out their frustrations while in an affair. Yet when they get home and might be approached on the after work events the abuse is terrible. Most of of the time, if approached on such abuse, they will blame the spouse. Funny how people justify their abuse yet I know that experience first hand.
Stop taking advantage of your home environment but instead understand that you are going to be frustrated after a long day or events of the day. Work out with your partner a method that both of you can accept where you can unwind.
If the two of you can not talk calmly, get help from a professional. My recommendation is a mental professional and not a spiritual professional. One helps your mind think clearly and the other helps your soul to understand the grace, forgiveness, and love of the Creator who is passionately in Love with you.
NO more excuses - harness the abuse.
When we get home from a rough day it does not take long for anyone in the home to say something that gets on your nerves and wow you release on them when they are innocent bystanders. If you know that you are tired and frustrated from work, stop at the front door and take a deep breath. You are entering your safe environment but that does not give you the right to take out your frustrations on them. Yet this is one of the main actions that becomes part of spousal abuse.
If you know that raising you voice quickly puts everyone in the home on alert, figure a way to relax for any conversation. Drinking or finding an out of the home outlet is no method to help. I have known co-workers who went to a friend's house to have sex before heading home so, "They can relax". Funny how they never take out their frustrations while in an affair. Yet when they get home and might be approached on the after work events the abuse is terrible. Most of of the time, if approached on such abuse, they will blame the spouse. Funny how people justify their abuse yet I know that experience first hand.
Stop taking advantage of your home environment but instead understand that you are going to be frustrated after a long day or events of the day. Work out with your partner a method that both of you can accept where you can unwind.
If the two of you can not talk calmly, get help from a professional. My recommendation is a mental professional and not a spiritual professional. One helps your mind think clearly and the other helps your soul to understand the grace, forgiveness, and love of the Creator who is passionately in Love with you.
NO more excuses - harness the abuse.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Honor the Family
Each year we have the honor of our mother, Mom Saladin, (there is no mother-in-law in my vocabulary) coming to the mountains to watch the leaves turn and spend some time with us. This lady has experienced so much from her childhood in upstate New York to the years in Florida. Those years have not been easy and she became a great nurse and nurse supervisor. More importantly is to see how her children serve the Lord only comes from her strong efforts and should give her the highest praise.
It is great to spend time with her and hear her history. To her I give honor.
Yet I hear so many people talk about their elderly family members with dis-stain and hate the idea of taking care of them in the future. They just want to put them away in a home and live their life. Where is the Honor in that?
I understand that many people do not have the facilities to take care of a senior family member but I think of my grandmother and grandfather. My grandmother had a brother who was deaf from age 3. So took care of him because in the 1930's and 40's the deaf did not get an education so Frank never received any education because he could not speak more than a grunt. When she got married to my grandfather and her parents passed away, Frank moved in with them. He worked hard on the farm but took a lot of grief from my dad and his brother. They would tease him and sneak around him just to make him mad.
Yet my grandmother never took him to a deaf home because she felt that being family meant that you took care of your own. Frank lived for 78 years and was one of the hardest working farmers' I knew. As a young man I recall my dad talking to him in a simple sign language about Jesus. He learned that Jesus loved Frank and died for him. I remember Frank's baptism as he came out of the water, Frank let out a loud grunt and smiled.
So I learned to give Honor to family members who help hold families together and those who serve as an example of the Love of the Creator.
I only have memories now of my parents and honor what they taught me and the direction they give me in life. Today as Mom Saladin heads tomorrow it has been a pleasure and honor to spend time with her.
Who do you need to give honor? Do it while they are alive? Is there someone you want to give honor to today. Give them a call or go see them. Tomorrow may be to late.
It is great to spend time with her and hear her history. To her I give honor.
Yet I hear so many people talk about their elderly family members with dis-stain and hate the idea of taking care of them in the future. They just want to put them away in a home and live their life. Where is the Honor in that?
I understand that many people do not have the facilities to take care of a senior family member but I think of my grandmother and grandfather. My grandmother had a brother who was deaf from age 3. So took care of him because in the 1930's and 40's the deaf did not get an education so Frank never received any education because he could not speak more than a grunt. When she got married to my grandfather and her parents passed away, Frank moved in with them. He worked hard on the farm but took a lot of grief from my dad and his brother. They would tease him and sneak around him just to make him mad.
Yet my grandmother never took him to a deaf home because she felt that being family meant that you took care of your own. Frank lived for 78 years and was one of the hardest working farmers' I knew. As a young man I recall my dad talking to him in a simple sign language about Jesus. He learned that Jesus loved Frank and died for him. I remember Frank's baptism as he came out of the water, Frank let out a loud grunt and smiled.
So I learned to give Honor to family members who help hold families together and those who serve as an example of the Love of the Creator.
I only have memories now of my parents and honor what they taught me and the direction they give me in life. Today as Mom Saladin heads tomorrow it has been a pleasure and honor to spend time with her.
Who do you need to give honor? Do it while they are alive? Is there someone you want to give honor to today. Give them a call or go see them. Tomorrow may be to late.
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