Getting Prepared for Obstacles

2 Chronicles 20:1-2 “After this, the armies of the Moabites, Ammonites, and some of the Meunites declared war on Jehoshaphat. Messengers came and told Jehoshaphat, “A vast army from Edom is marching against you from beyond the Dead Sea.”

Sometimes is it difficult to even pronounce the names of some of the Old Testament kings and prophets but a study of King Jehoshaphat (Ja-hose-a-fat) gives us insight for our lives today. A quick review of Chapter 19 of the book of Chronicles shows a king that had not followed the exact orders of God and was told about it by the prophet, Jehu. Jehoshaphat talked to the Lord and made changes. He established judges for the nation of Israel and when this was completed, the Lord then blessed the nation immensely.

In our lives we go through periods of time where everything falls right into place and the world seems in perfect harmony. Whenever that happens to us we usually look around and ask, “Life can’t always be this good, so when is it going to end?”   Then an event or situation  hits us like it did the Israel nation. Not just one nation declared war on them but three at the same time.

In studying history we find that this meant that they were outnumbered five to one on the battlefield. I’d say that was an obstacle bigger than we might encounter. So what did Jehoshaphat do? Let’s read on:   2 Chronicles 20:3 “Jehoshaphat was alarmed by this news and immediately sought the Lord for guidance.” What a concept! An obstacle is placed in front of him and what did he do? He asked the Lord for guidance!

That advice is a lot easier to read than to do. Often we think we can handle obstacles on our own. We don’t want to bother the Lord with our daily trivia because he has so much bigger things to do. In that thought process we do not truly understand God.

As His children, our daily lives and obstacles are as important as the world leaders and the obstacles they encounter in making decisions for their nations. God is here for everyone! Right now our lives may be going well and everything is great. Still, we need to thank the Lord daily for His blessings and realize that He never forsakes us even when obstacles arise.

Although Jehoshaphat was scared when he heard the bad news, we never have to give into our fears. Instead, let’s do what he did … look to the Lord for guidance. It’s the best relief medicine I know.

Let’s get prepared for any obstacle through that one on one relationship with the Lord.

I See What You Are Not Saying

Philippians 2:1-2  If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His Love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being likeminded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.

How many times have you been involved in a discussion with your husband, wife, or a friend when one of you, agreeing, says, “I see what you’re saying.”  But within a few moments you realize, by their actions, body language, or mannerisms, which their true feelings are really very different from what was said.

In a marriage, body language can reveal more than our words.  We commit our lives to this other person on our wedding day, but as each anniversary passes our own selfish desires move into our thoughts and life.  The result is that we create our own agenda for life apart from the marriage.  That’s not to say that you can not have different careers or goals, but have you discussed them with your friend (your spouse) before you leap into action?   

Are there silent messages that you send to your husband or wife when you are upset or angry?

Have you ever noticed that if you and your spouse are going to have a fight, it’s likely going to happen on Sunday morning. What do you do when you are upset with your spouse just before going to church?  If there was an argument while getting ready for church, one of my old “bad” habits was to be silent in the car, hustle the kids quickly into Sunday School, walk ten feet ahead of my spouse, and then begin to greet people as if it was a beautiful day in the neighborhood.  The silent message I sent to her was devastating. 

Sooo . . . how do you deal with anger between you and your spouse in a proper manner?  Here are some suggestions.

Consider setting up some rules that you both agree to follow regarding arguments.  Make sure to do this when both of you are in a good mood.  It avoids well, . . . an arguments. Ephesians 4: 26 says, “. . . Do not let the sun set on your anger”.  So make that your great first rule.  Never fall into bed while you are angry.  It ruins a good night’s sleep for both of you.  It’s also a good idea to agree on rules for arguments when you are going out to meet people, and especially, when children are present (much of how they treat their future spouses will be learned from you!).

Second, make sure you attack the situation and not the person.  So often past experiences jump to the forefront when one gets angry.  So, it becomes vital to help the person understand your anger and not just vent.  Often, arguments are a result of something that happened at work, a headache you are dealing with,  or with actions and attitudes of the kids.  Your spouse is not a punching bag to absorb all the blows from the day.  Once you understand the nature of your anger, you can vent without making it seem like a personal attack. 

 Third,  avoid "Why" questions.  "Why did you not take the garbage out?"  That will get a response but often not the one desired.  A response like, "Because I was not in the mood," will generate more conversation but not get the desired effect.  The garbage will be taken out but with anger at the bottom of the garbage can.  Learn to phrase your desires so they have no appearance of an attack.

Lastly, make up!  A prayer together, an “I Love You”, and an “I’m Sorry”, will go a long way to defusing anger and hurt feelings. And the benefits of making up are well worth it.  Lessons for me to keep learning.

Once the rules are in place, live by them and use them.  A little preparation will go a long way to making sure your marriage gets through the really tough spots.

Why Lord?

I grew up never questioning God and what happened in the world.  Then in my studies at college, I began asking the question, "Why Lord?"  It was, "why does this happen,  or why did you make that happen, or just asking why".  But I felt guilty to question the Almighty.  So my lack of understanding hit me with a guilt trip for years.

Then I found out that King David asked the "Why" question.   Also Job ask God the "Why" question for what he had been dealt.  It was the fall of 1987 and I had some really tough things going on in my life.  So I took a long walk in the woods and in an effort of desperation, I yelled at God and asked Him the "Why was he allowing this to happen to me?"   The area was now an eerie quiet and I dropped to the ground and wept.  The situation did not get much better, but I learned some great life lessons that help me serve others today.

This week a young man of 17 who had so much talent and was active in his church was overtaken to cancer and passed away.  My thoughts run to asking "Why?"  Then I realize that God's plan is not our plan.  Another friend some time ago lost a small 3 year old child to cancer.  The father's strength through his pain amazed me. He said, "I have to believe that the Lord knew best and gave us 3 years with one of His blessed children.  I know that the Devil holds on to death and pain on earth (as seen in the Book of Job) and that the Lord sees what our entire life will be like.  He called Leanne home because if she had lived a longer life,  what pain and horror would she have had to deal with in life that could have moved her away from a relationship with Lord.  So we thank the Lord for the blessing of experiencing our daughter."  WOW!

Take a moment and do three things.  First thank the Lord for your children and their children and then hug them whenever you can.  Write your children a letter to tell them how you love them and how you pray for them and their children.  Third, don't be afraid to ask the Lord, "Why?"

In asking the question, you will gain a new understanding that will help you serve others.  In reality, it is a great faith builder that will get stronger each day you breathe.  The Heavenly Father does know best.

Harvest Time

This morning I noticed a familiar plant growing just outside our back door. I never planted it but there it grew.   As the country people call it, we were witnessing a “volunteer” plant (a vegetable plant that has not be planted intentionally).

I guessed that one of the birds dropped the seeds on top of the ground and somehow in the hard ground the seed took root and grew into a nice sunflower plant that gives us a beautiful flower now and will give us seeds for eating. As I stare at the sunflower I counted over 100 seeds on one plant. That means what we got a 1000% return for doing nothing. 

Did you ever think about the miracle God performs with every ear of corn? Springtime planting requires grains or kernels of corn to be planted into tilled ground. As one kernel grows during the summer two to four ears of corn mature on a stalk. At harvest time one ear of corn contains almost 1000 kernels of corn. That means a return of 3000% to 4000%. for one grain of corn.   The only thing the one kernel of corn did was to obey God’s principles and grow when placed in a fertile area. 

If the kernel of corn has not been planted and a protective organic chemical is not placed on the corn kernel before planting, a small bug called a weevil will bore into the center of each kernel and render the kernel useless for any purpose.  So much for not appreciating the God given gifts in our lives.

There have been many times in life that we may wonder why God does not bless us with a large return on our stuff. The answer lies in three areas. First, we do not plant or fertilize what He gives us. Second, we do not build on faith to believe that miracles still happen and thus do not believe that we can get a large harvest.  Third, we look for only giving to areas that benefit us personally.   "What's in it for me?"

Matthew 10:42 says, “Give a cool cup of water to someone who is thirsty. The smallest act of giving makes you a true apprentice of God. You won’t lose a thing.”   Why are we sometimes so insecure in trusting God to bless our lives?  Is it in just trusting God to bless our “stuff and not try to control each move?   Are we better managers than God?   We just need to involve God in ALL our decisions which should include some hourly, daily, and nightly time in talking to the Lord. 

He then opens our eyes to what is important and gives us a peace that comes from blessing others, giving our lives away, building our daily faith, and not just to think about  that phrase, “what’s in it for us”. 

All growing churches are currently involved in a financial giving program. They need a lot of kernels of corn planted into the foundations of the church’s efforts to provide an atmosphere going forward for those far from God to experience the real love of the Creator.  We should all remember that if God can give such a return on a kernel of corn or a “volunteer” sunflower seed, imagine what he can do with your gift to help reach people for the Lord. 

My Dad taught me to remember one thing, “God will never be in your debt, you can not out give the Lord. It should be our love for Him that makes us want to try”. Therefore as we continue to develop our love for the Lord, strive for building our faith, and search for ways you can give to the Lord’s work. 

Harvest time is coming.

I Can Change Them

Year ago I encountered a situation where I liked a person but there were some of my perceived issues in their DNA that bothered me on a daily basis.  My thought is, "I can change that!" and set out on trying to make them a better person in my own mind.    Didn't work!

Instead it just frustrated me more and I thought it made the other person mad.  Later I learned that it just hurt their feelings that I was trying to mold them into something they were not.  I could not accept them where they were in life and so I moved on from the relationship.

Since that time my motto is "Love Them Where They Are At in Life".  Yet in our relationships we often do not apply the same principles.  We want them to pick up their clothes, brush their teeth a certain way, fix something a certain way that fits into how we were taught. Then for the person receiving this "correction" it may appear that they are mad, but most of the time they are hurt.  Why?

Before your partner came a long in the relationship they did things a certain way.  In the current relationship it is the desire to please your partner so you make some changes on your own.  But when those changes are not "good enough"  it can cause emotional strife in the relationship.

Take a moment and consider that when you point a finger at someone for doing something you perceive as being wrong and no doing it your way, there are three fingers pointing back at you. (Try It)  Guilty?

The person in any relationship is only here for a short time, so accept them more where they are at today in life.  Two friends are going through the roughest times in their life because one lost her 19 year old son a year ago in an auto crash and the other has just placed her 17 year old son in hospice.   I bet they both would wish to have just loved the child more and accepted them more each day they have lived.  My heart goes out to both of them daily.

Love the people around you and stop trying to change them.   One day they will not be there to change and your memories may be of all recalling the effort to change them instead of just loving them.   Today accept people right where they are and not hurt their feelings as part of the relationship.

Don't forget!  Love Them Where They Are Today In Life!

Power of Touch

Mark 6:56 - And wherever he came, in villages, cities, or country, they laid the sick in the market places, and sought Him out that they might touch even the fringe of his garment; and as many as touched Him were made well.

                For those sick, just the touch of His garment, in faith, would make them well.  Can you imagine the power that came with a touch from Jesus?  In life, we tend to forget the importance of touch, until you see people who have received very little contact with others in their life.  Why is that the case?

Touch seems to have lost its meaning today.  There are so many mixed meanings today to touch that are considered offensive or aggressive that we find people tend to keep their distance from one another. But in a marriage, a husband should observe his wife’s need for something so simple as a touch, and strive to meet that need.

A few weeks ago, I observed a senior couple in a restaurant.  They were both wearing dark sunglasses while they ate so I could not see their eyes.  As they sat across from each other, there was not a lot of conversation.  When her plate was nearly empty, he slowly got up and this man of 80+ years placed his hand onto her hand and gave it a little pat.  Then he shuffled over to the dessert section and returned with a sweet delight. 

As they finished, he slowly stood and moved to her side.  He placed the walker in front of her and then moved her legs into position.  He touched her hands and then grabbed her wrists and began to pull.  She was so frail, but with his help she soon stood upright and she grasped the handles of the walker.  As he moved to her side, he bent over and gave her a little kiss on the cheek.  By that time I was nearly in tears.  What topped it off was when he placed his hand on hers as they slowly moved out of the restaurant.  Even in their frail condition, he knew what his wife needed.  It was his touch.

Have you ever watched an older couple in a mall who are holding hands?  If you listen closely there are usually comments made by other people about how cute or how absurd they look.

Yet, touch is so vital for every person.  Even shaking hands or a simple hug is a level of communication every person needs.

During the dating time of a relationship, it seems that you can hardly stop touching each other.  Then after marriage, in the hustle-bustle of daily life and the familiarity of each other, you forget that touch should still be a part of your daily life.

Both spouses should make the effort to touch each other more EVERY day.  Holding hands is not a possession issue, but just a simple bond between two people who love each other.  You will be surprised how that can quickly defuse tension.  Also try just a little hug or kiss on the cheek for no reason at all. 

Bob Yandian, in his book, “One Flesh” talks about the needs of the husband and the wife.  He says that the wife needs companionship, compassion, romance, affection, and passion.  The common thread that makes each need satisfied is personal touch.  But do not just do it long distance via a telephone, text message, tweet, or fax.  Physical Touch that goes beyond sexual feelings.

Men need touch as well.  One of the greatest things my Dad did during the last days of his life was to hold my hand and encourage us to touch him.  He was never a “touchy” person to us, but found that the thing he desired most was not money or possessions, but the touch of his wife and family as he moved from his earthly home to his heavenly one. 

Don’t wait until late in life to discover that truth.  Learn the value of touch with your family but particularly bond the threads of your marriage through touch.

Panning for Gems

Isaiah 62:3 - You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God

Recently my wife and I had the opportunity to pan for gemstones in the mines of Franklin, North Carolina.  In years past people panned these mines primarily for gold.  The gems such as garnets, emeralds, rubies, and other precious stones were tossed away on the mine floors.

The instructions by the prospector on sight for our experience were quite simple. “Keep every stone and fragment you find.” 

 So in our excitement of finding expensive gems, we took our slush boxes, poured sand into the box, got near the running water, and then in shaking the boxes in the water, all we found were rocks.  Normally,  people just throw those rocks down and look for the shiny green emerald, or glistening red ruby.  But we obeyed the prospector and put everything in our tray.

When finished, we took our ugly rocks inside for someone to evaluate.  I thought she was crazy or that the woman viewing the stones was just giving us a sales pitch but with an excited tone in his voice, she began describing the rocks in the tray, as topaz, garnets, emeralds, and so forth. 

She pulled out another tray and said, “and we can do this to these stones”.  Right!  Take a muddy rock and make it sparkle like those stones.  Previously at another location we panned for some stones with our mothers watching the master jeweler cut and polished some of our rocks. 

It was during this process, that I saw a marvelous transformation.  A gem cutter studied the rock and then took a tool to chip away at the outer edge.  Then he would buff the edge and look at it again.  With one cut after another and some polishing, the rock became a beautiful gem.  The master cutter would hold it up to the light for flaws and continue with his work.  When he finished his task, you could see a dark red garnet that glistened in the light.  It was amazing what a master cutter could see and do when we only saw rocks.

Our life is just like panning for gems.  The world may have looked at you and saw your life just like a stone that should be thrown away.  But a Christian friend or someone that was a part of your life may have seen you as much more.  They spent the time with you and showed you God’s love and the value that you have to Him. 

When you gave your life to Christ, you were still a rough stone.  Old habits, and issues did not just fall away. 

Just like the gemstone, this is not an instant process.  It may take months or years before events such as abuse, control, alcoholism, or other issues are cut away.  But, through the Holy Spirit, your prayer time, friends, and study of the Bible with others in small groups, the rough edges will drop off.

So when you are forced to confront and deal with old habits or issues, it is not because God is angry or punishing you.  He is just making you more of the beautiful gemstone He knows you are.