”Proverbs 28:10 He who leads the upright along an evil path will fall into his own trap . .
Even nineteen years after it was discovered, I sometimes still become angry. He was a leader in the church, a police officer, publicly involved in a national religious organization, an immediate relative, and a pillar of our community. But he had a secret.
When my daughter was twelve years old she watched a program on television that prompted her to tell his secret. It all began when she was only four years old. This trusted man and his wife were my daughter’s baby sitter. He was retired and said that he enjoyed having her around their house. It started as fondling while she took a bath. Then as she got older, he went further. His words, “this is our secret”, still haunt me. When my daughter got older, she told him that it was wrong and she wanted to tell someone. He said that if she did, no one would believe her because he was a leader in the church, and highly respected in the community.
I vividly recall that Sunday after church when a youth leader called me into the pastor’s office and closed the door. There sat my thirteen year-old daughter, trembling and in tears. As she began to share the story, it is difficult to express the emotions that I felt.
There was anger, pain for what had happened to my baby, disbelief, and confusion. Questions raced across my mind. What had she done to deserve this? Was she telling the truth or just making this up? Why had I not seen it? What had I done wrong for Him to punish me like this? Looking back, I am so proud that she had the courage to expose his secret. I took action and immediately contacted the Sheriff’s office. The next day I got a telephone call from him. His only words were, “I am so sorry. I never thought I’d get caught.”
He was convicted and sentenced to life in prison at the age of 69. The investigation revealed that thirty-eight other girls in the community had been molested by him over a forty-five year span. Prior to his death three years later, he repented. My daughter’s healing took time, as well, and included the two of us crying together, hating together, being angry together, and eventually forgiving together. More importantly is that her coming forward may have save other young girls from the same trauma.
As we read the above passage, we need to look for “little secrets” in our own lives. We may not think it will affect anyone, but it will. Remember, we are called to a higher purpose. One that includes developing a deeper relationship with Christ, and building others up. Not destroying them.
If you struggle with any secret issues, please seek trusted counsel then be honest, transparent, and open. Realize that people you love will be hurt deeply but know that God is the Great Healer who has a wonderful plan for your life.
It took me many years to forgive the man who hurt my daughter, but God took those horrible events and used them for His good. He’ll do the same for you.
