Pursuit - Works Both Ways

A few weeks ago I saw a sermon on women and heard that men and women are different.  Duh!   OK I agree fully that there are so many differences beyond the physical, mental, and emotional part of God's creations.

The point made in the sermon in the differences was that women have the "desire to be pursued".  There were several illustrations given about Satan, Samson, and David being the pursuer as a man.

That has stuck with me because I disagree that this only applies to women.   Women do have the desire to be pursued but men relish the concept of being desired and pursued.  Women have the desire to build a relationship and men many times have the desire to fill a missing need in their lives.  No it is not all sex but more of a desire to be appreciated.

Years ago I knew of men in my office who were excited to have a women in the office pay attention to them to talk, have lunch, or converse about a topic.  The goal was not sex but to fill a gap they felt missing at home.  Only the more they talked, the man would reveal his issues with his spouse and the woman would see an opportunity to build that relationship need and then rescue the man with comfort.  Sex seemed to be a way to try and enhance that new relationship.

These "Office Affairs" are big drivers in marital issues because, instead of working on the relationship at home, even before they start, they run to a lawyer.

To every man reading this, do pursue your wife in weekly dating (one on one), setting time to be alone, and to remember to pursue her like you did when you were first dating.

To every woman reading this, pursue him,  not with complaints, failures, and chores, but also plan a date, a vacation, or clothing just for him to see.   It will be a great way for him to feel pursued.

Pursuit works both ways in a relationship, so put on your thinking cap and start pursuing each other tonight.  You will reap bigger rewards and strengthen your relationship.  Just remember this is not an event but a daily journey.

Now

 GO PURSUE!

Never discount what God created in You!

What started on Easter Sunday came full circle yesterday in surgery and recovery.   Easter Sunday afternoon I started seeing a black curtain in my lower vision.  Based on a detached retina in the right eye three years ago,  I knew the left eye had detached, so that Sunday evening we were at the specialist office and Monday morning the doctor performed laser surgery to reattach the retina plus repair five tears.  As with any retina surgery you quickly develop a cataract from the trauma of surgery.

When it came time for a new lens surgery for the eye to replace the cataract, the doctor noted that I had good close vision in the right eye but difficulty with the far vision.  So he said he would give me a lens for far vision.

My first thought was that I would then have glasses so I could see evenly.  What surprised me was the doctor telling me that the brain will adjust so you can see far away and close up without glasses.

Yesterday they took the packing off the left eye and I could see.  At first I had to close my left eye to see up close but by last night, I could see up close and far away with no distortion and eyes wide open.

God has created a way for you to compensate to things that go wrong with our bodies.  God made us perfect, but we abuse our bodies on a daily basis. Therefore God repairs the pieces of our body and our brain readjusts so we can be somewhat normal.  God's design for cell regeneration

I know that the man made lens may flatten over time and I will may need glasses again, but I had to marvel this morning as I looked at the mountains in the distance and could see them so well and still see the readings on my dashboard.

God really is an awesome God in what He has created in you!  Know that you are special and the Creator of the Universe is passionately in love with YOU!  All the way down to cranial readjustments.

Psalm 139:14

Embracing the "Long No"

If you are a small business person, you are probably familiar with the "Long No" when trying to get a business loan.  The banks will entertain you and say they can loan you money and all you have to do is fill out endless amounts of paperwork.  Then they ask for more information and take weeks on end to give you hope.  Only after a month or so of this encouragement, the banker calls or just sends you a letter saying they can not loan you any money.  One time a bank said we would be happy to loan you the money but you have to deposit the same amount you want to borrow in their bank.   My one comment was, "If I had that amount of money to invest, why in the world would I be talking to you?"

Recently a friend was trying to get a loan for new hotel in our town.  Banks song and danced him for months only to give him the answer above.

Yet today, I am having to embrace a long no that has been seven years in the making. In 2004 Lynnette said we would have to start a contemporary church like to one we left in Florida.  My reaction was "No way" but in 2007 we found a 38,000 square foot building, that during our time of praying, the building became vacant.  We found churches that desired to establish campuses and so we prayed harder.  For seven years the building has remained empty and God kept the building secure and in great condition.  Then in reading the Circle Maker, I began walking around the building each week.  It would be two years in October of being faithful to pray while walking the building each week.

Then today I found out that the building is going to be occupied in the near future and will no longer be available.  My heart sank and I cried out of disappointment.  Going back to work has kept this heavy on my heart because I know of all the people in our area that need the Lord but will not drive 45 minutes to build a relationship with the Lord.   My cry was, "Why Lord have you let me be filled with hope for seven years only to allow it to be taken away?"

With a crushed spirit, I can only say that I trust the Lord with all my heart and He must have something better in mind for us.  Therefore I now struggle with,"What do I pray for?"   My pain is not for a building but for the lives of 26,000 people in our area who want nothing to do with the Lord or church.

I could keep this all bottled up but I pray that in my transparency, the Lord will open a door for us to walk through and see life change here in our area.  The hard part emotionally is to get a "no" after 364 weeks of praying for something.

More than Just a Good Friday!

There are so many events going on this weekend which may be religious, relationship,or family celebrations.  But I want to take a moment and think about how we got to this day.

People today discount God; who He is, was, and will forever be.  As many of you know I live in a beautiful mountain area where I see His handiwork everywhere.  Yet there are some people who try to humanize and limit God in terms they can wrap their minds around.  Therefore we tend to cut God up into little bits we can swallow.  But expand you mind for a moment.

God is the one who began the creation of earth with just a simple sentence,  “Let there be light.”
 A few verses later, with one hand he was forming the giant fish for the sea and with the other hand we was making the hollow bones for the hummingbird and placing the miniature feathers of the wings.  More exciting it was not just a one off creature but was every creature in the water and on the land.

I'd like to think that he did all the rest of creation as practice for His best work.  In Genesis 1:26 God made man.  Then in Genesis 2:21 He made woman, not to be in front of or behind but beside Adam. God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.

If you have read the Bible you can see how man got too big for it's britches and would not keep the things God asked of man.  Being part of the Trinity (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) I am sure Jesus know from the start that he would have to come down to save us from ourselves.  Then Jesus spent 30 years here to give us hope and direction.  But then the religious leaders became afraid of Jesus and did not see Him as a part of God.  They wanted their power so bad that they did want they could to eliminate His free speech to the people.  

They lied about Him and set Jesus up to death. I love the words of this old song of how Jesus noted how much He loved us and how He was here for the people then, now, and in the future. Listen to this great Dallas Holm song that says it all!  Rise Again   

May you have a Blessed Easter and just take a moment to appreciate how wonderful the creator of the Universe is so that we can have an everlasting relationship with Him.

Buyer Courtesy

Long before emails many corporations had secretaries or assistants in the procurement (buying) departments who answered the calls for the buyer.    Being in that type of position from 1980 to 2006,  I learned fast that you always try and call the person back before you left for work that same day.  If a salesperson was trying to make an appointment, you had the assistant control your calendar and the appointment was made.

Then comes the internet and assistants became fewer and fewer , so you had to set your own appointments.  We were taught that even if you do not want to meet with them, you gave them the respect to return their call within a couple of days.

Fast forward to the last five years.  I am on the selling end of several new products and am experiencing something frustrating.  A buyer is contacted and we are invited to make a presentation at their corporate offices.  We get a positive feedback at the meeting and go away with some tweaks on the proposal.  We email them to the buyer and then we get dead air.   Now with the "read request" set to on, we know exactly when they read the material but there is no response.   In one case the buyer met with us in October 2013 and told us he would make the decision in January and we supplied him with his requested information and even went and added our product to their EDI site as requested at the meeting.  Since then we have sent numerous emails and telephone calls which we know he has read, but get no response.

I talked to one buyer's assistant and she said that the buyer was just so busy that they do not have time to respond to emails.  Therefore I asked what is the best protocol to get a response, as I have left voice mails as well.  Her response was to keep trying with no other thought.

In calling on over twenty-five retail companies at the present time, I would like a grunt of some kind to accept our offers, reject our offers, or negotiate our offers.  I think many do not realize the "READ" email I get when they do open the email, but since there is no response, we continue to spend time and resources chasing the buyer.  If they do not want the products, then just say "no thanks" and we will move on.

I am not sure if this is taught today to buyers, but I know it is frustrating to carry on this practice as a way to do business today.

Let your Yes be Yes and your No be No.

Thanks for reading!

Reminiscing About my Wonderful Daughter

When you get older, you tend to reminisce about things of the past.  You forget  about any negative times but focus on the good times in life.  Today I am thinking back about a little baby girl that was born this day with all the fight that a little girl could muster.

You see this baby was born with a skin color of green.  As soon as we heard the first cry the doctor immediately took here away and into another room to analysis.  She had a blood virus and had to have a complete blood transfusion.  I recall being the same blood type as her and it was a no brainier to give blood for this precious child.   This was accomplished quickly but required her to be kept in the hospital in an incubator.   Her mom could not stay with her during that time because of the healing process that was necessary after childbirth.

My bond with this little beautiful baby came every evening after evening when I could come to the hospital after work to feed, hold, and rock this little angel in my arms.  I vaguely recall our conversations, but do remember singing quietly as I rocked her and having her hold my little finger.

I remember crying as I saw her sleep and praying over her every day until she was strong enough to come home.  But that was just the beginning.

As she grew her legs turned in so badly that they had to put casts on her while she was still in diapers.  She was active in the crib and would bang the casts against the sides of the crib until they would crack.  After a few replacement casts they had to put a bar in the middle of her casts so they would hold together.  Then we had to strap foam around the casts so she would not break them on anything she came into contact with in the crib.  

I have so many more wonderful memories of this little girl and some pain along the way, but today on her birthday, I want thank God for giving me a wonderful daughter.  I want to thank her also for putting up with this crazy Dad who went off the wall sometimes with nuttiness.

So,  thank you Stephanie Dawn for the joy you have given this father and pray that each birthday will be filled with love being received by you from so many people who love and adore you!

I LOVE YOU BUNCHES!
Dad

Extend Your Youth - Part One

I get kidded a lot for not acting my age.  My thought is that "Age is a state of mind!"  Therefore many times I consider that I am in my 20's to 30's or half my age (or so).  This came to life this fall when I was fortunate to become a Security Guard for the University of Tennessee at their football and other sporting activities.

Going into this task, I knew I was not going to make much money but wanted to see if I could have an impact on the people I served.  The company placed me to guard the locker room entrances for the UT football team.  I was in Volunteer heaven.

Standing on your feet for twelve plus hours is tough for an ADHD person and so when there was music playing before or during the game, I would dance in my location.

Recruit potentials are always escorted by student hostesses.  As they walked by the locker room I'd smile and greet each family with a "Great to have you here" as I never missed a step to the beat of the music.  Soon hostesses would stop and dance along with me.  For some reason, that broke down the barrier from old man to someone they wanted to talk to each week.  I made it a special effort to learn their first names and some of their last names.

I learned of their majors, where they were from, what they wanted out of life and made sure to invite them to the Faith Promise UT campus for Sunday services.  When they walked by and did not smile or laugh, I'd stop them and say, "Are you OK?"  The barriers were down and so I learned a lot about these thirty some young men and women.

Another aspect was that the trainers for the teams are "second class" people in the world of college football.  Each time they would go into the locker room  or leave the locker room for the field, I would hold the door for them.  This little task paid off with big results.  I'd get a smile and many thank yous and learn of their life goals but the best was when a trainer would say, "You don't have to do that for me".  I'd reply, "You are important and it is my honor to serve you."   Everyone would see them stand taller and smile with a renewed vigor.  Even though I was three times their age, I felt younger to be serving the next generation.

So often we think that getting old we must rely on the youth to take care of us, yet you can feel so much younger yourself by doing things for the next generation, who we may think are going the ruin our world.

Funny but they said that about us and we have not done a great job of saving the world but we can show honor to the next generation and in turn extend our emotional youth.  The secret is to use your experiences to teach as you serve those youth.

Go out and extend your youth by being young of heart and mind!

What's under the water where you live?

We live near a couple of TVA lakes which not only helps with our electricity costs but also provides some great enjoyable sporting activities for all the people.  Each winter, TVA lowers the water level as demand increases and in anticipation of increased water from rains and snow which avoids flooding.

In the summer time the water table is raised up to the upper banks and looks fabulous, but in the winter as the water lowers things change.  You see within the valleys use to be homesteads with families living their lives near the creeks that were dammed up by the TVA.   When the water is lowered you see home foundations exposed.  In fact one railroad trestle going across the valley that use to carry lumber to the mills from the mountain areas can still be seen only during the low water periods.

In looking at these, my mind goes back to what might have been the life activities of the people then.  What were their joys?  What were their struggles?  What secrets are buried under the water?  What happened within the homes where foundations are now the only thing standing?

But as soon as the lake begins to rise all that is covered and the people boating over the top of these homes have no idea what lies below.

Each one of us has a past history.  Some was joyous, some were hard, and some damaged us emotionally.  Yet when people see us, we only show them what is on top of the water and never come to terms with what is under the water people see.

This year consider doing something with the feeling found in the foundations of you life.  We can never get rid of those foundations but consider confiding in a friend who will not judge your foundations found under the water, but help you to move on to a healthy life with others.

Like the TVA foundations, they will never go away but focus on what is on top of the water and not what is underneath.

My two cents