Coming From Behind the Mask Part 2

In Part One we identified that most all of us wear a mask to hide what we really think and to hide from the outside bombardment of people pointing fingers while demeaning an individual to the point of committing suicide.

Most people can handle their lives from behind the mask they wear.  Once in a long while we have a close friend, that is not a therapist, in which the mask can come down.   Mutual trust has to really be strong for a mask to come down.   Students often will remove a mask for a classmate only to have some confidence revealed on FaceBook or other social media.  That can be life devastating.  Most teens don't even realize there is a mask and only the parents or counselor can help them deal with what is behind the mask.  Teens will not think their parents understand, so the parents may have to talk from the aspect of removing their own mask.  Teens may not want to listen, but need to know that you as a parent struggle with the same issues of life.

The person wearing the mask has gotten use to hiding their feelings except for at the times they are by themselves.   You may wonder why Pastors and church leaders have affairs, drink excessively, or make any other poor choices.  Most people in the church put the pastor on a pedestal and have unwritten expectations of their human side.  Some handle it well but for many they are major Christian men and women who hide behind a mask until the pressure of life becomes too much.   I know way too many pastors who have affairs and then can not really explain why.  It may be because the mask got so heavy and another person was able to get behind the mask with an emotional breakdown of the pastor.  Then all hell breaks loose.

I was taught in my first years in business that you NEVER reveal anything too personal about yourself to a co-worker.  I saw first hand that a person who told a confidence to a co-worker was passed over by his boss when a job opportunity was available.   The boss repeated the confidence that the co-worker, you told the personal item about, who DID get the job, repeated it to the boss in order to move ahead in the business world.

Today I ask you to take a moment to examine your mask.  When is it present and when can you take it down?  If you feel like you can never take it down or have trouble coping with the bombardment from others, seek professional help.  The mask may never be destroyed, but it can become thin and more transparent.

Realize that this Blog is at a very simple level and if it strikes a nerve, I would suggest that you find a therapist who can help you deal with what is behind the mask.

Coming from Behind the Mask Part 1

Over the past several months, it has upset me that three girls from the same high school independently committed suicide, with their entire future ahead of them.   There were so many questions as to why until you see two things.  First these young ladies were bullied and second they had very poor body images even though they were beautiful young ladies.   From what I read, no one knew of their internal struggles.

Today both young people and adults seem to show what they want the world to see.  Social media continues to grow and it is the fastest way to develop poor body image by the bullies in our lives who want to point the finger away from their own issues.  Most adults do not know all the channels of social communication by our children and young adults.  Communication comes from Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, FaceBook,  Wickr, Cyberdust, WhatsAPP, SlingShot, and some more Apps have an auto erase feature, once it is read, to avoid tracking.   This drives the feelings and attitude of our youth and adults today.   

 494,169 people visited a hospital for injuries due to self-harm in 2016.   7 of 10 suicides  were male.  (afsp.org)  Girls are not exclusive to bad body image and  being bullied.  Yet people are shocked when the person is active in a church and are Christian and can not handle the pressures they preceive.

At a very young age we all learn to put on a mask to avoid pain and hurt and that mask continues to develop to let the world believe that we are normal, happy, healthy, and fit the mold that society expects.  This mask continues to build and is reflected each Sunday at church.   I know first hand about wearing a mask.

 Today we meet people and friends and when they ask, “How are you today?”  Our response is always, “Fine!”   They are not really interested in how people are doing, we just say the words.   In my efforts to get rid of my mask, I have learned to ask as second question, “How are you, REALLY?”   Most people will then break down a wall and a mask to tell you how they are really feeling.  Listen to them as they attempt to get rid of the mask.

I close the first part of this Blog to connect you to a song most Christians who wear a mask might love to sing as it reflects on how they feel.  Sometimes Alone I Cry

This daily struggle is internal and we need help to realize our value.  Before it is too late.

Our goal is to allow people to get rid of the masks and to  develop methods for the youth and adults to consider before taking their own lives.