As I sit here this morning and think about getting this day started, my mind wonders back to the year 2000. First and foremost, is that I Love You and appreciate all you had done for me. I can still see you in the hospital and then recall getting the call from the hospital, like it was yesterday. I still can not believe that they wanted to run experimental tests on you, knowing it would not make you well. I knew that I had to give you the respect you deserved. Your nurse was so important in helping you. Her call to me caused me to react immediately and the doctor was surprised when I showed up in his office and demanded for your release.
But I could see the relief on your face as we moved to the assisted living facility and knew we were doing the right thing. Mike and the people at the church played such an important part in preparing you to me Jesus. The communion in your room was a highlight for the evening. I now realize that the closure of every little thing that happened was as if God had the whole thing laid out perfectly.
Funny when you think about it, but little did I know that when I walked to the store to get you a root beer on Thursday evening, that it would be the last thing you drank. In a way I wish it could have been a root beer float, cause I know how you liked them. Ed’s stopping by to ask if you wanted to go fishing was great. Little did he know that you had been fishing for the Lord all those years and you were about to get the biggest catch ever.
During the next year, I saw another person die and watched the struggle and violence of leaving this world. I am so thankful that your passing was in such peace. Lynnette and I were not certain of how it was going to take place, but we thank the Lord so much that we were able to be near you as you left this world. As we walked down the hallway and looked into the rooms, we saw so many people alone and with no hope. Thank you for teaching Christian principles with hope, family, and grace.
Did you know that angels were there? Of course you did, but before they came to minister to you, your evening nurse was named Angel. She came to see you just before you went to sleep. Checked all your vital signs and gave you some pain medicine. Then a girl name Angelica came and gave you a bath. Coincidence? I don’t believe so. But the best part was about 9:15 p.m. when the feeling on the room became different. A calm peace and sweetness entered the room and I knew that we were not alone. It was then that I knew everything was going to be OK and told Lynnette that fact.
For years previous, I felt that it would be hard to let go of you. Lynnette and her spirit of love was just the right thing that I needed. Her advice and encouragement during your illness was vital to helping with the closure. Do you remember me singing to you about 10:30? It was not my best voice, but there was never more heart felt love in the songs than when I sang them to you. Our last prayer together and encouraging you to look for Jesus are things I will always remember. Recall how I wanted you to look for Grandma and Grandpa Balser and Grandma and Grandpa Canter? I’ll bet they have been praising God for so many years now that when they met you and embraced you, it was just like they left you yesterday. Humm.. . I guess it was yesterday for them.
As you can see, I am into writing my thoughts more now. It helps me to reflect and improve my own life. I know all my mistakes as well as you do now, but the grace shown by the Lord in Jesus sometimes just makes me want to sing such praise and appreciate my family so much more.
In going through some reading this last weekend, I realized that the most important thing a man can leave when he dies is to know that his children love the Lord. In that way he is successful and it far over rides all the money and possessions we can amass. My son will be 40 years old this year and I look at this with mixed emotions for all my children. Pop, I love my children and grandchildren so much and pray often that they hold that personal relationship with Jesus high on their lists of priorities. In doing that, my failures in this life will seem small in comparison to the excitement of being in heaven to greet them someday. You were so successful, because your children do love the Lord!
I don’t know when the Lord is ready to call it quits for me on earth, but I am excited to first look for Jesus, who died for me. That allows me to be guilty for my sins, plead the blood of Jesus as the giver of grace and mercy, and then look for you and everyone else I’ve known.
I am heart sad for those people who do not take the opportunity to connect to their parents who are alive. No matter what has taken place, the Lord gave us parents, step parents, or loving guardians to help us mature into the people we are today. Accept lifestyles we like and reject what we don't. But love the person for who they are. Their parents. I wish they would connect and tell them they love them instead of holding hurt feelings.
Well, I need to get busy this morning, so tell everyone I said, “Hi”. And again, “I Love You” for being a great father.
Your son,
Gary
P.S. When was the last time you connected with your parents, living or deceased? Maybe a letter to them is in order!
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