I Can Change Them

Year ago I encountered a situation where I liked a person but there were some of my perceived issues in their DNA that bothered me on a daily basis.  My thought is, "I can change that!" and set out on trying to make them a better person in my own mind.    Didn't work!

Instead it just frustrated me more and I thought it made the other person mad.  Later I learned that it just hurt their feelings that I was trying to mold them into something they were not.  I could not accept them where they were in life and so I moved on from the relationship.

Since that time my motto is "Love Them Where They Are At in Life".  Yet in our relationships we often do not apply the same principles.  We want them to pick up their clothes, brush their teeth a certain way, fix something a certain way that fits into how we were taught. Then for the person receiving this "correction" it may appear that they are mad, but most of the time they are hurt.  Why?

Before your partner came a long in the relationship they did things a certain way.  In the current relationship it is the desire to please your partner so you make some changes on your own.  But when those changes are not "good enough"  it can cause emotional strife in the relationship.

Take a moment and consider that when you point a finger at someone for doing something you perceive as being wrong and no doing it your way, there are three fingers pointing back at you. (Try It)  Guilty?

The person in any relationship is only here for a short time, so accept them more where they are at today in life.  Two friends are going through the roughest times in their life because one lost her 19 year old son a year ago in an auto crash and the other has just placed her 17 year old son in hospice.   I bet they both would wish to have just loved the child more and accepted them more each day they have lived.  My heart goes out to both of them daily.

Love the people around you and stop trying to change them.   One day they will not be there to change and your memories may be of all recalling the effort to change them instead of just loving them.   Today accept people right where they are and not hurt their feelings as part of the relationship.

Don't forget!  Love Them Where They Are Today In Life!